


Remember Me

by Justadeangirl67



Series: Remember Me [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, Car Accidents, Daddy Dean, Domestic, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Dean Winchester, Marriage, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Reader-Insert, Smut, mentions of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-03-15 05:13:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13606284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justadeangirl67/pseuds/Justadeangirl67
Summary: You and Dean navigate the highs and lows of your fifteen year marriage and right now you’re in one of the biggest lows your marriage has ever had.





	1. Try Again

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: New Dean/reader series! YAY! It’s an AU, so no hunting. I love angst and I love daddy!dean, so here it is. Not sure how many parts there will be, at least four. I used Emma because I love E girls names. I wasn’t really referring to Dean’s Emma from the show. Obviously I don't own Supernatural or their characters. 
> 
> **All mistakes are my own** 
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

You look at your teenage daughter from across your kitchen island. Normally she would be talking your ear off, laughing at Dean’s lame jokes, doing more giggling than eating, but today she wasn’t doing anything of that. She was just staring at her bowl of cereal, spinning the soggy fruit loops around in circles. You glance at the clock. 8:35. Great, it’s almost time to go, she hasn’t packed, and you know it’s going to be a struggle getting her to even agree to go.

You set your coffee cup on the counter and force a smile for her, “I need you to go get your things packed, baby girl. Daddy will be here any minute to pick you up.” It has been some five months since you and your husband had been separated and he moved in with his brother. No papers had been filled yet, but that was only a matter of time with the way things were going.

As hard as it was for you, it was hardest on your daughter. She was a huge daddy’s girl and it broke her heart when the two of you sat her down to explain that Dean was moving out to stay with Sam for a while. She broke down in tears and begged Dean not to leave you both. It was one of the worst things either of you have had to sit through. Since then she has started to act out at home, her grades have dropped a full letter grade and her relationship with Dean was almost non-existent. She barely spoke to him and when she did it was short clipped answers. It killed you almost as much as it was killing Dean.

Emma looks up at you, “I don’t really want to go, mom. Just tell dad I am busy with something. Tell him it’s piano.” She gets up and carries her cereal bowl to the sink, “It’s not like dad even knows what’s going on in my life anyway. He hasn’t been to a single rehearsal or recital this year,” She mumbles under her breath barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Emma,” You sigh, rubbing your forehead with your hand. “Your dad loves you very much and you know that. He is working to support all of us, to pay for your piano lessons, this house, and the shop. Just give him a break, okay? He misses you so much.”

She peeks over her shoulder at you, scrubbing her bowl harder than she needed to, “Why are you always defending him, mom? It’s not like he deserves it.”

“Sweetheart, I am not defending him. I am just saying that he is not used to having to wake up without you under the same roof. Plus, Uncle Sam is probably making him eat healthily and you know how much he hates egg whites and salad,” You smile, hoping a joke would lighten the mood.

“Well, then he shouldn’t have destroyed our family,” She snaps back.

“Honey…” The sound of someone knocking to the beat of Metallica on the front door halts your conversation further.

You walk overtaking the now spotless bowl from her hands and place it in the dish drain, “Please do it for me, sweetheart?”

She sighs when she sees you with your bottom lip out, pouting like a five-year-old. “Oh my God, mom. You’re worse than dad pouting.” You could see her resolve starting to fade as she rolls her eyes, “Fine, but I refuse to have a good time.”

You laugh, “Okay, you can pout the whole time.” You push her towards the stairs and head towards the front door, opening it to find your husband standing there.

He forces a smile, “Hey.”

Things between the two of you have been tense. Very, very tense. You normally didn’t say more than a few words to each other and even those few words were about Emma and only Emma.

“Hey,” You respond with a tight-lipped smile.

Stepping to the side you let him in, “Emma is getting her things together. She, um,” You didn’t know what to say. He had been picking her up at the same time every weekend, so you really didn’t have an excuse, but you didn’t want to say the truth either. You knew how much it would crush him to hear that she didn’t want to be around him, “She’s just running behind.”

He watches as you did everything you could to avoid looking at him. You used to look at him like he was your world and now you can’t stand to even glance in his direction. It had been like that since you split, and it was torture watching you trying to avoid eye contact with him.

He sighs and takes a step into the foyer of what used to be his home, “She didn’t want to come did she?”

You finally look up at him with a sympathetic smile, “It’s going to take time for her to adjust to the new arrangements. She misses you more than she is willing to admit, but she’s also old enough to understand what’s going on Dean.”

The thought of his daughter not wanting to be around him was like a knife in the gut. She has been Dean’s partner in crime since the moment she was born and now she wanted nothing to do with him.

His jaw clenches, “Just to be clear she isn’t the only one that’s not happy with this arrangement, y/n.”

“Don’t you dare blame this on me,” You snap, lowering your voice so you Emma didn’t overhear you. “You made your choices and that’s why we are here right now, Dean. You’re the reason we are in this situation.”

He steps closer to you, lowering his voice to a whisper, “and I told you I didn’t do anything! Nothing happened!”

“Yeah, well her panties in your car tell another story!” You hiss.

“Can you guys just please stop fighting?” Both of your heads snap to the bottom of the stairs where your daughter is standing teary-eyed. “It’s bad enough that Dad doesn’t live here anymore, but do you both have to yell at each other every time you see each other?”

Dean was always the first to act when his baby girl was upset, and this was no different. He steps forward, “I’m sorry, princess. We didn’t mean for you to-” He runs his hand down his face, “I’m sorry. Let’s go have a fun weekend with your lame Uncle Sammy? Whaddya say?”

She shrugs and walks down the last four steps over to you, kissing your cheek. “Call if you get lonely, okay? I love you.” She pushes past her dad, wiping her tears on the arm of her sweater on her way to the Impala parked in your driveway.

“Love you, too,” You call after her and look back at Dean, seeing the hurt on his face made your heartache. Despite everything going on you didn’t want to hurt Dean this way. It wasn’t that long ago that everything was perfect between the two of you. Okay, maybe not perfect, but as perfect as any family could get.

Dean clears his throat to get your attention, “I’ll have her back before dinner on Sunday.”

His heartbroken voice pulling you away from your memories you nod, looking at your daughter in the car, “Emma has a term paper that needs to be looked at. I’m sure Sam will take a look at it for you. I know how much you hate those.” It was clear he wasn’t listening to a thing you said, but after all these years you were used to that when you were talking about school.  

Dean slowly stalks over to you hooking his finger under your chin to make you look at him. God, did you miss him. You missed seeing him first thing in the morning, the way he would sing AC/DC in the shower, his Saturday morning pancakes, the way he would cuddle with Emma on the couch but still keep a hand on your knee, so you knew he was there with you too. You missed everything. Well, everything but the lying.

“I do miss you, ya know?” His voice is rough, laced with regret. “I miss being home and yeah, I miss having Emma under the same roof as me, but I miss you.” He leans forward, placing a lingering kiss on your forehead. The feel of his lips on your forehead made your heart jump.

He slowly pulls back, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before letting go of you, “Have a good weekend. I’ll call if I need anything.” You watch him walk out to his car, leaving you alone for the weekend. That was one of the things that you were still having trouble getting used to. The house was always so loud before you and Dean…Before it, all happened. Now on weekends that he takes Emma, it’s like the silence is screaming at you and you don’t like the way it sounds.

“Uncle Sam!” Emma squeals as she jumps onto the giant she called an uncle.

“Sure, you get excited to see your uncle, but not your dad,” Dean mutters as he closes the front door to Sam’s townhouse. Sam glares at Dean over his niece’s shoulder causing Dean to throw his hands up in surrender.

“It’s because I’m cooler than you are.” He quips, making Emma laugh. “Go get settled in down the hall. Your Aunt Jess has a few surprises in there for you I think.” He sets her down, letting her run off towards the bedroom she uses when she spends the night.  

Sam turns to find Dean standing in the kitchen opening a beer, “Dude, it’s 9:30 in the morning.”

Dean shrugs, “Yeah, well it’s been a rough morning and it’s five o’clock somewhere.”

Sam peeks over his shoulder to make sure Emma is gone, the hallway was empty it was just the two of them. He looks back at Dean shaking his head, “Look, you’re my brother and I love you. I’ll always be here for you, but I gotta say Emma isn’t the only one pissed at you.” He lowers his voice to not draw Emma’s attention. “Y/n’s been in love with you since ninth grade and yeah, having Emma in high school wasn’t ideal, but you both stepped up. She was there when you took on the shop after dad died. She dropped out of school to take care of Emma, so you could follow your dreams and run the shop, man!”

“You don’t think I freaking know that Sammy?!” He hisses. “I know I messed up, but she won’t even let me explain what happened.”

“I don’t know that I can blame her, Dean. This isn’t a normal mess up and it’s going to take more than just the traditional ‘I’m a screw-up, I’m sorry,’ Dean apology.” He yanks the beer from his hand and heads towards his niece’s room, “You owe it to her and your daughter to fix this, Dean.”

He slumps onto the bar stool rubbing his face.  He tried to fix it, but you wouldn’t listen to him. You would barely look at him, let alone let him explain everything that happened. He would do anything he could to fix it if you would just hear him out and give him a chance, but if he was being honest he wasn’t sure he even deserved a second chance.

“Daddy?” Dean looks up to see his daughter standing in front of him. That was the first time she had called him that since he moved out and it was like music to his ears.

He smiles, “Yeah, princess? Everything okay?”

She nods and walks over to him, leaning on the countertop, “Did you mean what you said at the house?” She looks down at her nails, picking off her nail polish. “What you said to mom?”

Confusion fills his face for only a moment before he realizes what she was talking about. Before he remembers what, his daughter walked in on.

He clears his throat, “Yeah, sweetheart I did.”

She leans over the counter and kisses his cheek before grabbing an apple from the bowl next to him, “Okay.”

Dean looks at her with wide eyes completely stunned that she believed him just like that. She wanted nothing to do with him for months and all it took was four little words and she was kissing his cheek. “That’s it? Okay?”

“Yep.” She shrugs, “I know you’re not perfect, but I know you would never lie to me. Even if it’s something that would upset me. Just talk to mom, okay?” If there was one thing that everyone could agree on, Dean didn’t lie to his daughter.

“Just saying that isn’t going to be enough, princess. I stopped trying a long time ago and this,” He shakes his head, “This was just an easy out.”

“Then start trying again,” she says.

He laughs, “What?”

“Start trying again. Take mom on a date,” She says it as if it’s really just that simple. Try again.

Dean opens his mouth, but she cuts him off before he can, “and don’t say mom won’t go because that’s crap. If you stopped trying, then start again. Just fix it, please. I want you to come home and I want mom happy again.” She holds out her pinky, “Okay?”

Dean grins and links his pinky with hers like he did when she was little. “Okay, you have my word princess.”

Now he just had to figure out how to keep his promise to his daughter when you couldn’t be in the same room as him for more than five minutes. Yeah, this was going to be super easy.


	2. Skates & Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma has a plan to get her parents back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part got away from me. I ended up making it waaaaay longer than I wanted and had to cut it in half and then edit, so I am sorry it’s later than I originally said! (I used Emma because I love E girls names. I wasn’t really referring to Dean’s Emma from the show.)
> 
> **All mistakes are my own**
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

The next morning Emma had a plan to get her parents back together. The last five months had been awful. She had listened to her mom cry herself to sleep almost every night, despite her best efforts to hide it from Emma, it was obvious every morning when she came downstairs with red, puffy eyes and heavy bags under her eyes. She knew better than anyone how stubborn her mother was, and Dean was too worried you hated him to make a big gesture, but she wasn’t going to sit back and let her family fall apart. If they were too stubborn to admit that they still loved each other than she was going to have to force them.

She had spent thirty minutes on the phone with her mom putting her plan into action and now it was time to get Dean on board. She slowly crept from her bedroom at her aunt and uncle’s and into the spare bedroom that Dean had moved his things into at the start of the separation. The room looked like a college bachelor lived there, his clothes were everywhere and there several empty bottles of beer and a few whiskey bottles set on top of the dresser, obviously, Dean wasn’t handling the separation any better.

She sighs and picks up all the empty bottles that are littered all over the room, placing them quietly into the trash bin by the dresser, careful not to wake up her dad. She gathers all his dirty clothes off the floor and dumps them into the hamper near the closet, someone had to take care of him if wasn’t taking care of himself.

Emma walks around the bed to find her dad passed out on his stomach, drool running down his cheek and onto his pillow, stifling a laugh she takes a small step back and then pounces on Dean, “Daddy!” Dean groans when her knee connects with his rib cage, but he still doesn’t move, still hugging his pillow with his eyes closed. She sighs and grabs his bicep, shaking him gently, “Dad, Wake up. I have an idea.”  

He slowly pulls his pillow over his head and grumbles, “Princess, could you have this idea in another hour or so? I bet your uncle is making some egg whitey, spinach filled thing with that key-won stuff.” Hearing Dean try to pronounce quinoa was the highlight of her week.

She laughs, “No, dad.” She grabs the arm opposite her and tugs on him to roll over, “I want your pancakes, and this isn’t about breakfast. I want to go ice skating with you.” She continues to tug his arm trying to get him to roll over and look at her, “and it’s pronounced ken-wa, not key-won, dad.”

He finally pulls the pillow off his head and looks at her, “There is no way I am taking you ice skating. That’s your mother’s favorite thing to do this time of year and I don’t want to die a painful, very bloody death.” He rolls over onto his back and fixes the pillow against the headboard, slowly sitting up against it, running a hand through his messy hair, “What do you mean it’s not key-won? I’ve been saying it like that for years and why didn’t Sammy tell me?”

“It’s ken-wa and I’m pretty sure he didn’t say anything on purpose,” She sits up in front of him, crossing her legs. “I was thinking we could take mom with us,” She looks at him, puppy dog eyes on full blast.

Dean groans and quickly closes his eyes, “God, why did Sam teach you that?” He rubs his face with his hands, “I know what you’re trying to do, but mom doesn’t want to spend time with me, princess.”  
  


It was obvious what Emma was trying to do, she wasn’t fooling Dean for a second. She wanted her parents to spend time together somewhere that has a lot of meaning, in the hopes that they would forgive and forget, but there are certain things Emma doesn’t know about, things that Dean is pretty sure he would never be forgiven for and if Dean could help it she would never find those things out. He was just getting his daughter back and he was not about to lose her again.

“It would be all of us spending time together as a family and it would be for your daughter, who is going off to college in three years and wants to get as much time as a family as she can, and you promised me you would try.” She sticks her bottom lip out, waiting for him to open his eyes. If it worked when she was five she could get it to work now.

Dean opens his eyes to still find her pouting at him and caves instantly, “Damn. You’re good.” He sighs, “Alright, alright.”

She squeals and kisses his cheek, “Thank you, thank you!” She jumps off the bed and walks towards the door, “oh, and if you could put chocolate chips in my pancakes that would be amazing.”

He waves his hands shooing her out of his room as he sits up, looking around seeing that she had cleaned up his room while she was sleeping. Okay, maybe she did guilt him with the puppy eyes but she was just trying to take care of him.

“You better hurry up and get dressed, we are meeting mom at noon.” She quickly bolts from the room before he can argue, yelling back towards his room, “Thanks, daddy!”

He flops back on the bed, running a hand down his face, “Son of a bitch…I swear that kid…”

 

It took Dean twenty minutes of digging through his suitcases to find the red flannel that you always said was your favorite. He had actually found it right away, but he went back and forth on whether or not he should wear it, if you would get upset, or if Emma would notice what he was doing and get her hopes up. He even debated on texting you and telling you that it wasn’t a big deal if you didn’t want to come, but if he was being honest it was a big deal. He wanted to see you and wanted to spend more than ten awkward minutes with you every other Friday.  

Dean finally walks out to the kitchen, in your favorite shirt, walking over to the kitchen island where Emma was seated.  He places a kiss on top of her head, frowning at the disgusted look on her face, “What’s the deal kiddo?” She nods towards the spinach and tofu scramble that Sam had put in front of her a few moments before Dean came out.

He leans down and takes a sniff, making a gagging face. “Dude, you should know better. She’s not going to eat that,” He pushes the plate back towards Sam on the other side of the island.

Sam rolls his eyes and takes the plate back, “and why is that?”

Dean grins proudly, “Because, Samantha, she may look like her mother, but that little girl is all me.” He slaps his hands together, “Alright, chocolate chip pancakes coming up, baby girl!”

 

* * *

 

Emma sighs as she watches Dean fidget with his shirt as they walk through the parking lot.  He had been one edge since they finished breakfast. He had changed his shirt three times before settling on the same red flannel he was wearing, to begin with. He even drove with no music, it was one of the weirdest car rides she has ever had with her dad. Dean fidgets with his keys dropping them onto the pavement. Emma bends down and grabs them, slipping them into her pocket, looking up at Dean, “Dad, relax. It’s just mom.”

Dean shakes his head as he holds the door to the rink open for his daughter, “Sorry, baby girl. I’ve been nervous around your mom since ninth grade. I don’t think that’s gonna change now.”

Sam was right. He should have listened when Sam said this was a mistake. It’s not that Sam didn’t want you to get back together with Dean, he just knows how much this place means to the both of you. It wasn’t just any place you were going, the place was filled with memories of your entire relationship, your first date was Couples Skate Night for Valentine’s Day sophomore year, you told Dean you were pregnant with Emma here, this is where he proposed to you, and you had spent every valentine’s day here since your wedding. It was a big part of your relationship and Dean was pretty sure that’s why Emma picked it.

Dean glances around the rink trying to spot you, it was fairly busy since it was a Sunday, but he could spot you anywhere. He grinned when he sees looking around nervously, you were just as nervous as he was. Emma elbows Dean in the ribs gently, nodding to where you were leaning against the rink wall. She tugs on Dean’s shirt, pulling him towards you. “Come on, dad. You’ve won her over once before you can do it again.”

Emma lets go of Dean and runs over to you hugging you, “Missed you, momma.”

You smile and kiss her cheek, looking at Dean behind her, “I missed you, too. Having fun with dad?”

She nods looking between the two of you, staring at each other. She grins and bumps shoulders with Dean, “Dad’s nervous because you look really pretty.” Your eyes widen, and you look up at Dean, a pink tint appearing on your cheeks.

“What? No. No, I didn’t say that…” He clears his throat, “I mean you do look beautiful, but you always look beautiful. I just mean I wasn’t talking about you that way when we came in. Not that I don’t want to talk about you in that way…” He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, avoiding your gaze.

Emma leans over to Dean and whispers, “Real smooth, dad.” She nods towards the rental counter behind them, “I am going to get everyone’s skates. You guys just stay here and talk.” She grins and runs ahead to the counter to get three pairs of skates, your hand instinctively went down to hold Dean’s hand, but the moment your fingers touched his everything that happened over the last five months came rushing back. You quickly pull your hand back and cross your arms over your chest, your eyes glued to Emma, so you didn’t have to look at Dean.

He looks down at his hand and then back up at you, he wanted to tell you that it was fine, that he would give anything to hold your hand again, that this whole separation was stupid, and he wanted to come home. He didn’t say any of that though. He just slips his hands into his pockets and turns back to watch Emma.

Emma walks back over to the two of you awkwardly standing next to each other with only two pairs of skates, “They have to go in the back to get my size, but you guys can go ahead, and I’ll catch up.”

Dean eyes his daughter, “Uh huh. So weird that they only had sizes for me and your mom and not you.”

She nods and slowly starts to walk back towards the rental counter, “I know. So weird, right? You guys get a head start and I’ll be along in a minute.”

You sit down on the bench to slip on your skates as you watch her run back up to the rental counter, “You think she’s okay with us being here together?” You look up at Dean, unlike Dean, you were completely clueless as to what your daughter had planned for today. She has been so mad at Dean lately that it never crossed your mind she might be trying to get you back together.

He toes his boots off and slips his skates on, watching you as he laces up his own skates, “Oh, I think she’s fine with it.” He stands up straight and holds out his hands for yours, it was just habit at this point, but he always had to help you out onto the ice and hold you up practically the entire time you were on the ice, so there was really no way you could do it without him. Emma had defiantly thought through this whole family outing out.

You look up at his hands, your eyes darting up to see those bright green eyes looking down at you, slowly you raise your hands from your lap, placing them into his hands. Dean’s grin at you. You loved when he grinned like that, the way it makes his eyes crinkle in the corners and his eyes always sparkled like he was carefree and happy. He pulls you up to your feet, steadying you before helping you take one step at a time. He let you face the rink and walked back towards the ice, only touching your hands.

He takes a step back onto the ice and looks at you, “Easy.” You take a tentative step onto the ice and he instinctively wraps his arm around your waist to help hold you up.

Once you start to move on the ice you immediately start to wobble.  You have been ice skating at least once a year for seventeen years and you were still awful. He looks down at you failing to hold back his laughter, “We have gone every single year since high school, how are you still this bad?”

You frown up at him, “Well, maybe it’s because you let me use you as a crutch too much and I can’t learn for myself.” You purse your lips together, smirking at him.

“Oh, I see. I am sorry I have been holding you back from your Olympic career.” He drops your hand, “Go for it, baby.”

Had he not started to remove his arm from your waist you might have noticed him calling you baby, but you were too busy panicking for a completely different reason right now. You immediately grab onto his forearms, “No, no, no. I take it back.” You look up at him, terrified, “Please help me.”

He laughs and wraps his arm back around your waist, pulling you into his side, “You know when we were dating this was my favorite place to bring you.”

You raise a brow and look up at him, “Why is that?”

“Because every time we came out here you would always cling to me and let me pull you against my chest. Normally, you were so independent, and I loved that, I still love that about you, but when we were here it was like if you didn’t have me here to hold you up you couldn’t do it.” He looks down at you, “You needed me.”

“Dean, I have always needed you.” You lean your head against his chest, letting him guide you around the rink, “Sometimes I wonder how we got here…”

He kisses the top of your head, “Mostly my fault. I stopped trying a long, long time ago and then everything with L-“  You tense at the mention of her name and pull back from his chest, going stiff.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up,” He slowly pulls his arms back, giving you the chance to get away from him if you really wanted to.

You eye him for a minute, watching the sadness and regret slowly creep into his feature, “It’s okay.” You lean back against his chest and put both your hands in his, “You’re gonna have to help me make my way around the rink if you’re okay with holding me that long?” You look up at him.

He smiles and tightens his grip on your hands, “Yeah, I’d be okay with that.”

All in all, it was a pretty good family outing. Emma eventually joined the two of you on the ice, but Dean never let of you once. Even when he was helping Emma he kept his other arm wrapped around your waist, having Dean’s arm wrapped around your waist for an hour wasn’t a bad way to spend the day, but you were all getting cold and hungry and the day had to come to an end at some point.

Dean helped you off the ice and to a bench so you can get your skates off. All three of you sit in silence as you take your skates off and drop them back off at the rental counter. He really didn’t want to send Emma home yet and he didn’t want to say goodbye to you. Today wasn’t perfect, but he got to hold you for over an hour today and that made today better than any day he has in the last five months.

“Burgers and fries? On me.” He asks hopeful, looking between the two of you.

“Sounds good,” You hold your hand out for his, with a tentative smile.

You had no idea what you were doing or why you were doing it, but you did know one thing, the second Dean let go of you when you got off the ice you wanted to be right back in his arms.

He smiles and grabs your hand, lacing your fingers together. Emma grins as she follows the two of you out of the rink, it had gone better than she hoped, and she wasn’t complaining.

Yeah, today was a pretty good day.


	3. Fresh Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to warm up between you and Dean until something unexpected happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

Since your skating ‘date’ with Dean things seemed to have become less frosty between the two of you. He has picked up Emma two times since the trip and there hasn’t been any tension. Any angry tension anyway. Sexual tension was a different story, then again there has always been sexual tension when you were around Dean. It was hard to not feel something when he turned on that charm, plus with your history, it was nearly impossible to not feel all fuzzy when you were around him. He knew all your secrets. All your bad-girl moments happened with him. 

It was Sunday night and Dean was due with Emma any minute. You were currently on the phone with Jess. “Just give it a chance is all I am saying. I am not saying it has to be permanent but give him a chance. You don’t know the whole story,” Jess urges you gently. She has been pushing you for months to talk to Dean about what happened, but you just didn’t want to hear whatever excuse he had ready to give you.

When it all happened, Jess was firmly on your side and furious with Dean, but somehow Dean had managed to work some of his charms and now your sister in law was singing a different tune.

“I don’t know, Jess. It seems too soon, and I am not sure that there is much to tell. I don’t really need to hear a lame excuse. He did what he did, and I don’t think I can forgive him this time. I’ve forgiven a lot over the years," you remind her. That wasn't a total lie. You had. He got caught up in the shop early on in your marriage and you spent weeks without seeing or touching your husband. He would sometimes put Sam above you and Emma. That didn't last long though. Once Emma started saying, daddy, he was a goner. The point was you had let him get away with a lot and you weren't sure this was something your heart could look past. 

“You need to talk to him. You haven’t heard the whole story, Y/n.”

“What do you mean-“

The front door creaks open and Dean’s voice rings through the house, “Lucy, I’m home!”

You could feel your heart start fluttering at the sound of Dean’s his voice, followed by a giggling Emma. “Okay, okay. I will think about it, Jess I have to go," you whisper. "Dean is here with Emma. Okay. I will. Love you." You hang up quickly sliding your phone onto the counter as the two of them walk into the kitchen and you can’t help but grin when you see him. “Hey, you.”

Dean grins back at you. “Hey, beautiful.”

Emma rolls her eyes and sticks her finger down her throat pretending to gag. “Gross. Can you guys stop with the sex eyes in front of me, please?” She kisses your cheek. “I’m gonna drop my stuff off in my room and maybe dad could stay for dinner?”

You look at Dean and then back at Emma. “Yeah, he can stay for dinner if he wants to. It’s lasagna, so there is plenty.”

“Thank you, momma!” Emma squeals and heads towards the stairs.

The tension in the room returns as soon as the two of you are left alone. For some reason the moment Emma was gone you didn’t know how to act around each other anymore, not because you didn’t want to be around him, but you just didn’t know what to say or do when Emma wasn’t around. Since the split everything had been about Emma and small talk was much more complicated so you both just stuck to talking about Emma, but you were running out of things to fill the awkward silences with.

You walk to the fridge and hold out a beer for him hoping that will help to break the tension.

Dean reaches out and takes the beer from your hand using his shirt sleeve to twist the cap off. He clears his throat and shifts from left to right. “I wasn’t doing the sex eyes,” he mutters.

“It’s fine, Dean. She’s just being a teenager.” You give him a small smile. “Let’s forget it.”

Dean nods as he watches you trying to avoid him making your way around the kitchen. He thought things had been better since the trip or that's what it seemed like. You seemed happy to see him when he dropped off Emma. Your voice even sounded happy. There was no fighting. Just lots of smiles and flirty glances,  but now it seemed like you didn’t want him around.

He runs a hand down his face and sighs heavily. “I don’t have to stay for dinner, you know? It’s fine if you don’t want me here.”

You shake your head and nod towards the table where three plates were already sitting out. “Who says I don’t want you here?” They were set out long before he had brought Emma home.

He shrugs, unable to stop the grin on his face. “I just, I don’t know. I just assumed.”

Dinner went over good. No, scratch that. It was perfect. It felt like everything was back the way it should be. Dean in his spot at the table next to you. Emma laughing at every single corny joke he makes. Everything was absolutely perfect for a few hours. However, it had to come to an end eventually and dinner had been over for a while now.  Emma had already gone up to bed and it was just you and Dean sitting at the table. Alone.

Little moments like this use to be your favorite. Just the two of you in your own little world. As if no one else in the world mattered besides the two of you and Emma. It was hard to believe that these moments just wouldn’t happen anymore. You clear your throat and slowly get up from your seat. “I guess I need to start cleaning up," mumble softly.

You start to grab the empty plates from the table walking them to the sink as Dean gets up and starts to clear the counter off. You look over your shoulder at him and shake your head. “You don’t have to do that. You have to get up at like 4 on Mondays to be at the shop. I can clean up.”

Dean doesn’t answer you. He simply walks up behind you and sets the dishes on the counter next to the sink. He leans forward and shuts the water off pressing himself against your back, brushing the hair from your neck and tucking it behind your ear. He leans down and whispers against your ear, “I don’t want to press my luck here, but…” he runs his nose along your neck placing a soft kiss under your ear and whispers against your skin, “I don’t want to leave.”

Your heart was pounding so hard against your chest you were positive he could hear it. The last time he was this close to you was at the rink and you were focused on not connecting your teeth with several inches of ice, so having his body pressed against you wasn’t really a thought. Now all you could focus on were his hands on your hips, the way his whispers were making you shiver, the way his breath felt against your neck, and the heat coming off his body.

He slowly turns you around his eyes searching yours trying to figure out what you’re thinking, but you weren’t giving anything away. You could barely breathe let alone form a full thought. “Tell me to go. Tell me you don’t want this, and I will let go and we won’t ever talk about it again.”

You look up to see his had gone dark with lust. The green you love so much was barely visible. You didn’t have to think about this and you really didn't want to think about this. The decision was made the second he walked into the kitchen tonight. You lean up on your toes your lips inches away from his whispering, “Stay with me tonight.”

Four simple words and he was done for. Dean’s lips were on yours before you could process what was happening. His hands sliding down your back to the back of your thigh pulling your legs around his waist, carrying you up the stairs towards your bedroom. You slowly undo the buttons his flannel and scramble to push the sleeves down his arms one arm at a time tossing it on the railing as he carries you into the bedroom.

He quietly kicks the door closed and walks you towards the bed slowly lowering you both down on the bed. His lips never leaving yours as he undoes the buttons on your shirt slowly pulling it apart. He pulls back to let you slide it off your shoulder, glancing down your body he moans he when he sees the black lace bra you had on. It had always been his favorite. Part of him wondered if you knew this would happen tonight. He certainly did not.

Reaching behind him he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it onto the floor as you lean up enough to shimmy out of your jeans and claim his lips again. He lifts his hands cupping your cheeks in his hands running his tongue along yours and gently nipping on your bottom lip. You moan softly making him grin, “God, I missed that sound.”

His hand slips between your legs, slipping his fingers between your folds and his grin widens. “I love that I still get you this worked up.” He slowly pulls his hand back, making you whine.

“Patience, babydoll.” He rids himself on his jeans standing naked at the front of the bed before you, smirking at the want in your eyes. He grabs your ankle and pulls you down towards him, pulling a small gasp from you. He leans back over you, nipping at your bottom lip as he lines himself up at your entrance.

Looking up, connecting his eyes with yours, searching for anything to tell him to stop. You lean up just enough to press your lips against his and quell his worries. 

He just needed that little bit of confirmation, he leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes as he slides into you, filling you completely. You pull your legs up, resting your heels on his legs, he groans as he takes a minute to adjust to having you wrapped around him again. His eyes slowly flicker open as he slowly thrusts into you, both of your breaths becoming heavier as he picks up the pace, he slips one arm under your knee, pulling your leg up onto his shoulder, causing him to hit that sweet spot with every thrust.

The room was quiet except for your moans and heavy breaths, his thrusts picking up the pace as he feels you tightening around him as he pushes you deeper into the mattress with each thrust. Each thrust hitting that sweet spot, pushing you over the edge until you clamp down on him, moaning his name.

He lets your leg slide back down onto the bed and collapses down on top of you, the feel of your walls tightening around him pushing him over the edge into his own orgasm. He leans his forehead against her shoulder, rocking against you until you stopped shuddering under him.

Dean places a gentle kiss on your shoulder and slowly shifts his hips to slide out of you, but doesn’t move from his place on top of you. “I love you,” he whispers against your skin. “Always have, you’re forever, babe.”

You nuzzle your nose against his neck softly. “I love you, too.” You sigh and run your fingers down his sweat covered back and look at him, “Shower with me?”

He nods and kisses your forehead before climbing out of bed heading into the master bathroom. That was a view you had missed quite a bit.

“You coming or you gonna keep staring at my ass?” he calls as you hear the shower starting up. You laugh and toss the blankets to the side and head into the shower with your husband who is wound up for round two already.

The morning came too quickly as usually, you could hear Emma getting ready for school. The sun was shining in through your bedroom window warming your legs that were sticking out of the tangled mess of sheets and blankets, but this morning was different. Dean was snuggled against your back, his arm thrown around your waist, and snoring softly in your ear. Normally, you would nudge him to stop his snoring, but this morning it was the sweetest sound you have heard in the last five months.

You roll over in his arm and nuzzle your face against his chest, peppering his chest with soft kisses. He rolls onto his back pulling you with him only tightening his hold around you.

You smile and continue to place soft kisses on his chest working your way up to his neck, peppering kisses along his jaw until you reach his lips. “Good morning.”

He smiles. “Morning beautiful.” He runs his fingers up and down your back softly, savoring having you in his arms again. He was still having a hard time believing it was happening. After everything that happened, he didn’t think he had a chance to make any of this right.

You push your hair back out of your eyes, smiling down at him. “This is a nice surprise. I thought you would be gone when I woke up and already at work.”

He shakes his head. “Nope.”

He finally opens his eyes lifting his free hand to cup your cheek, “I took the day off to spend with you, called while you were snoring this morning.” You smack his arm making him laugh. “I just have to run by at lunch to sign for a part that’s being delivered, but I thought maybe today was a good day to talk.”

The sound of knocking on your bedroom making you jump. “Shit. Emma!”

“Mom? You’re driving me to school, right?” You were normally up at least thirty minutes before she was, so it was strange for you to still be in bed and you knew Emma would know something was up.

You put a hand over Dean’s mouth, glaring at him. “Yes, baby. I’m sorry. I was up late talking with your dad. I am getting dressed now. I will be there in a minute.”

“We didn’t do a lot of talking last night,” Dean mumbles against your hand.

You lower your voice, turning your attention back to Dean.“We need to talk first. She has her heart set on us getting back together and I don’t want her hopes up or mine…” He nods and kisses the inside of your hand. You slowly move your hand away, kissing him gently. “Thank you.”

Emma’s footsteps made their way back to the outside of the door. “Dad? Can you come down and make me pancakes?” Your face goes white as Dean tries to hold back his laughter.

“Honey, your Dad is not in here. I don’t think-“

“Mom, dad’s shirt he wearing last night is on the stairs, the impala is in the driveway and the spare bedroom is empty…”

Dean busts out laughing and he calls towards the door, “Sure, princess. Give me five minutes and I’ll come down to make you pancakes.”

“Thank you, daddy!”

He kisses your cheek and slides out from under you, stepping into the closet to grab some of the clothes he left there. “So, to be fair this is your fault. You’re the one that couldn’t wait to get my clothes off,” He winks at you.

You groan and pull your pillow over your face to hide your blushing cheeks.

Your morning was pretty uneventful, normal actually. It was just like every other morning you have had for the last fifteen years of your marriage, which felt nice. It felt like maybe you could work things out with Dean. Like things could go back to normal after everything that happened. After Dean finished making Emma pancakes both of you dropping her off at school you just spent time driving around with your husband. It was like those god awful five months didn’t ever happen.

You glance over at Dean, sunglasses on, one hand on the wheel, fingers tapping to the music on the radio, even after all this time he was still gorgeous. The laughs lines, eyes crinkles, and scruff on his face didn’t matter. He was still just as sexy as the day you met.

He catches you staring at him and looks over at you puzzled, “What?”

You shrug. “Just checkin’ out my husband.”

He laughs and brings the hand he was holding up to his lips placing a soft kiss on the back of your hand.

Dean pulls the impala up to the shop and you walk up hand in hand for the first time in forever. He stops at the garage doors pulling you in for a chaste kiss, “I’ll be right back. I have to sign for those parts and make sure Bobby is good. You can wait in my office if you want.” He pulls you flush against him kissing you again. He hasn’t been able to stop since you woke up this morning, not that you were complaining.

“Okay, I’ll be in your office.” You walk into his office and sit down in his chair glancing around the small room. It had been a while since you were in here even before everything happened you stopped coming by for lunch and rarely got out of the car when you did come by. Guess that’s what happens after fifteen years of marriage. Maybe Dean wasn’t the only one to stop trying.

You look around at all the picture of Emma and you, one from your wedding day, a few from high school, the three of you in the hospital when Emma was born, Several of Emma through the years, your arm hits the mouse on the computer, waking it up to see a picture of the two of you at the beach last summer, making you grin. Maybe he wasn’t lying. Anyone who came into this room could see how much he loved the two of you.

It was taking way too long and you were running out of things to do in his office. You take one last spin in his office chair before getting up. You needed food and you needed it now. Dean knows better than to not feed you and leave you hungry. This is how the fight on your fifth anniversary started. You grab your purse from his desk and head back out into the garage.

“Hey, if we don’t eat soon I am going to kick your as-“you stopped as soon as you saw what was keeping Dean so busy.

Lisa.

She smiled at you stepping closer to Dean as she soon as she saw you stepping out of the office bringing around a bag of takeout in front of her so you could see why she was there. Making sure to rub it in your face. She had brought your husband lunch.

Dean immediately steps towards you. “Y/n…” He takes two long strides before he’s standing in front of you taking your hands in his and turning you around. Taking your focus off her. “This is not what it looks like. I swear, baby.”

You look up at him. “Then what is it, Dean? Because it looks like the woman you cheated on me with is at your shop bringing you lunch!” You had to bite the inside of your cheek to keep from crying. You were not going to cry in front of that woman.

He takes a deep breath. “Yes, she is here for me, but I swear to you it’s not mutual. I told her I was in love with my wife, that I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen and I swear it never went passed that now or five months ago. I don’t know how freakin’ panties ended up in my car! I promised Emma, Y/n. You know me better than that. I wouldn’t lie to her.”

“I thought I knew you, Dean,” You take a step back from him, dropping his hands. You needed some distance from him right now. It was taking everything in you not to lose it in front of a garage full of people.

“God, I am such a freaking idiot,” You look up at him unable to stop the tears that were now running freely down your face. “I fell for all your bullshit last night didn’t I? You use all that Dean Winchester charm and I fall for it.” You laugh bitterly. Muttering just loud enough for him to hear, “Every. Single. Time.”

He reaches out to grab you, but you take another step away from him. He takes a deep breath. “Please, just listen to me this time. Ask Bobby. He’s has seen everyth-“

You hold your hand up to stop him and head towards the door. “I’ll call a cab. Come get the rest of your stuff sometime this week. I can’t keep doing this with you, Dean.”

It took him less than twenty-four to get his family back and lose them all over again. After this, he was pretty sure there was no going back. If you wouldn’t listen to him before you certainly weren’t going to listen now. He watches you walk out of the shop with every last bit of his heart.

His entire world just walked out of his life and he had no chance of getting it back.


	4. Repairing Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean handles Lisa, but that doesn’t fix everything and after all that happens he may never get the chance to repair the damage that was done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love angst what can I say? This is from 3rd person POV.
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

Lisa sighs happily as she watches you hailing a cab in front of the shop. “Well, now that the drama is over with, I brought you lunch from that sandwich place down the street.” She walks towards his office to drop off the bag.

“I hate that freakin’ place,” he grits out. “Which you would know if we had any type of relationship at all,” Dean turns to face her his jaw clenched as he tosses his hands in the air, “They don’t even have pie!”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Is this about, Y/n being here? Because she will get used to it, so will Emily.”

Dean clenches his fists together at his sides. If there was one girl he loved more than his wife it was his daughter. That was the final straw. He couldn’t deal with this crazy shit right now. He just watched the love of his life leave broken-hearted and he was done playing this game with Lisa. “It’s Emma. My daughter’s name is Emma.” He walks into his office towering over Lisa. “I don’t know what your damn deal is, but it needs to stop. I’m not. Dating. You. I don’t know how you got that shit in my car, but I am pretty sure you do and I have a feeling you made sure my wife would find them.”

She shrugs. “I just needed her out of the way, so you would see what was right in front of you. You were so wrapped up in her and she didn’t even come up here to see you. When was the last time you even went on a date with her?” She reaches out to take his hands, but he quickly pulls back. “As soon as they were out of your life I knew you would see that we were supposed to be together.”

“Out of my life?!” He roars, making almost everyone in the shop turn around to face the open office door. “They will never be out of my life! My daughter will never be out of my life and as for Y/n,” he shakes his head, “I’m not ever going to love another woman the way I love her.”

“I’m going after my wife. Pack up this shit and get it out of my office.” He grabs his keys off the desk and walks towards the door. “Oh, and I suggest you don’t show your face around here again. Y/n isn’t going to be as kind as I am when she finds out what you did and she’s got a mean right hook.” He smirks at the mix of fear and anger on Lisa’s face.

Normally he would have personally watched her leave, but he didn’t have time do that. He needs to get his wife and try to fix this. He knew if she just let him explain everything would be alright. He digs through his pocket pulling out his phone dialing Y/n's number as he walks towards his car. ‘Come on, baby. Please pick up.” He yanks the door open and slips into the front seat of the car.

“You’ve reached Y/F/N Winchester, please leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks.”

“Please, please call me back," he begs into her voicemail, ''I am driving to our house and we’re going to talk. Please call me back." He tosses his phone in the front seat where she had just been a little over an hour ago and speeds out of the parking lot of the shop heading for their house. He glances at the time. It was close to Emma being home and by the time he made across town back to the house, Emma would be there.

“Come on!” He groans as he pulls down the street with an ambulance and cars backed up. It was always insane this time of day and an accident wasn’t helping. He pulls out of traffic and heads down a side road, taking the long way to their house to avoid the accident. He didn’t have a choice at this point. All of this was about to go down in front of Emma. “As if this day couldn’t get any freakin’ worse!"

It was a little after one when Emma came through the door waving to her friends that drove her home. They normally dropped her off at home since her mom worked for the school and it didn't make sense for Y/n to pick her up when she could get a ride with a neighbor. She drops her bag in the kitchen and looks around the room. Nothing had been touched from breakfast and the Impala wasn’t in the driveway. She frowns and walks to the bottom of the stairs. “Momma?” she calls towards her parent's bedroom.

No answer.

She checks her parent's bedroom, the bathroom, the spare room, and even the garage. There was no one. All empty. She pulls her phone out of her back pocket and hits 'Momma'.  She walks around the house looking for some kind of note as the phone continued to ring in her ear.

‘You’ve reached Y/F/N Winchester, please leave me a messa-‘ She sighs and hangs up the phone, calling 'Daddy'.

She lets out a sigh of relief as she hears her dad’s voice. “Dad? Where are you guys? Mom isn’t answering her phone. Listen I know you guys are happy and working things out, and no one is happier than I am, but you can’t leave me home alone to have car sex. I am pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“We’re not having car sex, Ems. I don’t want to know how you know about where to have car sex or sex in general,” he grumbles at the thought of his daughter even knowing about sex. He doesn't care how old she is.

Emma laughs. "Probably better if I keep that to myself."

Dean’s brows knit together as Emma’s words sink in. “Wait. Your mom isn’t home? That’s impossible she left the shop like twenty minutes before I did.”

“Why did mom leave before you?" Emma asks. "You left in the same car and her car is here.”

“Forget that. We need to figure out where your mom is.” Emma could hear the panic in his voice and it made the hair on her arms stand up, “Come outside. I’m about to pull up.”

She rushes outside to see the Impala pulling up into the driveway and walks over to the driver’s side. “Dad, what is going on?” She hangs up the call and slides her phone back in her pocket. “I thought you and mom worked things out?”

He waves for her to get in. “Things got complicated, but I’m not worried about that right now.” She rolls her eyes and walks around the car hopping into the passenger side front seat. “Okay, kid where would she go if she didn’t go home?”

Emma looks at him like he’s out of his mind. “She wouldn’t go anywhere, dad. She would never just take off and not leave me a note. She still doesn’t like leaving me home alone when she runs to the gas station.”

“Okay, let’s just…” He had this sinking feeling something was wrong. Y/n wouldn’t avoid Emma’s calls and even when at the lowest point in their marriage she never ignored him and that's when it all clicked. The ambulance down the street from the shop. “Shit.”

He starts to back out of the driveway. “Emma, seatbelt now!" he barks.

He peels out towards the hospital. Emma buckling herself in without argument. He never barked at her like that, so something had to be wrong. “Dad? What is going on?”

“I think your mom might have been an accident, baby. I don’t know for sure.” Emma gasps and Dean reaches over quickly and takes her hand in his hand giving it a quick squeeze. "I am sure it’s nothing, but I just gotta check something. There was an accident down the street from the shop when I left. I just…” He keeps his eyes on the road. “We just need to make sure.”

Emma spent the twenty minutes of the drive to Lawrence Memorial Hospital on the phone trying to get someone to tell her if her mother had been checked in, but no one knew their ass from their elbow. Normally, he would make a joke about how she shouldn’t say things like that around her mother or Uncle Sam, but he wasn’t in the joking mood. He needed to see that his wife was okay. It would just be a sprained wrist. Or her phone was lost and she wasn't even in the hospital.

He pulls into the parking lot of the emergency room parking in the first spot he could find and rushes into the automatic doors. Emma right next to him holding onto his arm like she did when she was a little girl.

Dean walks up to the nurse’s station and grabs the attention of the first nurse he sees. “Hi, I um, I need to check and see if my wife was admitted this afternoon. I don’t know if she’s here. There was an accident near my shop and I can’t reach her. Her name is Y/n Winchester.”

She looks between the two of them, but seeing the panic on the teenager’s face made her give in. She puts down the stack of charts in her hands and slowly sits down at the computer. “Give me one second.” It takes a few minutes of silent typing before he hears her inhale sharply and looks up at him trying to keep her face impassive. “She was just brought in. It looks like she was in a car accident and is being prepped for surgery now. I can’t release any more information right now, but I need you…”

He couldn’t hear anything else she was saying to him. It sounded like she was trying to talk to him while he was underwater. Everything around him was muffled, and he couldn’t process anything she was saying. Whatever she wasn’t saying was bad though. That much was clear. It was bad enough for surgery and bad enough that he needed to fill out a crap ton of paperwork that was being stacked in front of him on the counter.

“Mr. Winchester?” the nurse says softly.

Dean could feel Emma tugging on his arm. “Dad. They need our information and then they can take us to the waiting room.” He looks over at his daughter whose eyes were red and brimming with tears. He nods and pulls out his wallet handing over his ID and insurance card.

The nurse slides the cards off the counter and gestures for them to follow her. It takes a minute for his legs to catch up with his brain, but he manages to wrap his arm around Emma and grab the forms he had to fill out following the nurse down the hallway. As much as he wanted to break down his daughter needs him and so does his wife. So, he does what Dean Winchester does best, he swallows his emotions and pushes them to the side to take care of his family. Besides, before he could freak out he has hours of paperwork to fill out.

Six hours. It had been a little over six hours and he was still waiting. No word from anyone. Just lots of paperwork and waiting. He looks down at Emma asleep next to him on the ugly green sofa, her head in his lap where she had spent the afternoon crying. It had been a long time she had curled up with him like this and as much as he misses this he would give anything to not be here right now.

He looks back at the clipboard on the table next to him as he flips through the paperwork he had left to fill out. It was like they just kept finding new forms for him to sign. He sighs and looks at Sam. “Why the hell do I need to fill this shit out? Of course, I want them to save her if she stops breathing.” He tosses the clipboard on the table that was in-between the two of them.

“Dean, It’s for legal purposes. Everyone has to fill out that even for standard procedures.” Sam grabs the clipboard from the table and the pen. “I’ll fill it out, okay? Just take a deep breath and be there for Emma.”

Dean looks down at Emma still asleep on his lap and sighs. “Sam, I don’t know what-“ He had to stop himself before he started to cry. He takes a breath to steady his voice. “I can’t give her bad news when she wakes up, Sam. I can’t tell her that her mom could be gone.”

Sam looks up from the clipboard in his lap and opens his mouth to say something right as a man in dark blue scrubs comes into the waiting room. He looks around at the people waiting and calls out to the room, “Mr.Winchester?”

Dean gently slides Emma’s head off his lap and jumps up making his way towards the doctor. He glances back to make sure Emma was still asleep and God was he thankful she was. If it was bad news he didn’t want her to hear it from some stuffy doctor. It would be from him.

He looks back at the doctor. “How is my wife? Can I see her?”

He takes a deep breath. “She’s out of surgery. She had a collapsed lung, several lacerations to her face and upper body, a shattered leg, whiplash, and internal bleeding. We managed to stop the bleeding and we did our best to repair her leg, but recovery is going to be a long, long road. When the other car hit her side of the vehicle it smashed the door in on her leg and caused massive muscle damage and completely shattered her tibia.”

Dean runs a hand down his face and looks over his shoulder to find Sam standing behind him for support. He swallows the bile that was in his throat and looks back at the doctor.“Can, can I see her? Is she awake? I know our daughter would like to see her.”

He offers a sympathetic smile. “I think it’s probably better if just you go in for now. We pulled her off sedation, but she hasn’t’ woken up yet. At this point, it’s up to her. I can take you down now if you would like and if she wakes up we can talk about recovery.” If, he said if. That was all Dean could focus on. Emma shouldn’t see her yet and if his wife woke up they would talk about recovery.

Sam places a comforting hand on his shoulder bringing Dean’s attention back to the present. “I will watch her. Go. Jess should be here any minute.”

Dean nods to his brother and waves his hands at the doctor. "After you doc."

The sound of the machine breathing for her and the beep of her heart monitor is a sound Dean will never be able to forget. He walks into the room, stopping when he sees her laying in the hospital bed. She looks so tiny. So fragile and barely looked like herself. For the rest of his life he the image of his wife hooked up all these machines, bloody and broken was going to be burned into his brain. Always there to haunt him. Remind him that he couldn't protect you like he always promised.

He slowly makes his way over to the side of her bed where they had placed a reclining chair with a pillow and blanket. He assumes for him to spend the night with Y/n. At least he wouldn’t have to fight anyone about not leaving her side. He glances down her body, taking stock of every single cut, every bruise, and every mark because whoever caused this accident was going to feel every single one once Dean got his hands on him.

Sinking down into the recliner he runs his hand over his jaw trying to decide if he should talk or just stay quiet. He wasn't sure she would even hear him. He leans forward taking her tiny hand in his. His eyes wander over her hand and arm, noticing the small cuts that must have been from the window glass. Probably from trying to protect herself during the impact.

He finally forces himself to look up at her face. There were tubes coming out of everywhere and cuts along her jaw and forehead. It made him sick to his stomach to think about his wife having to go through that alone. Scared. Without him there by her side. He clears his throat and tightens his hold on her hand. “Baby, I’m gonna need you to wake up for me.” He voice is calm and controlled. If she could hear him he didn’t want her to worry about him, “I can’t do this without you. I can’t raise our little girl without you.” He laughs a little, “I don’t know the piano schedule and forget about helping with her English homework and if you’re not here she will never be allowed to date. That I can promise you.”

Closing his eyes as the tears start to fall letting himself fall apart. He wanted to be strong for her and for Emma but he needs his wife and right now he had no shame in begging her not to go. “You can’t go thinking I was unfaithful to you. Thinking I am not anything but crazy in love with you because I am, baby. I’ve loved you my entire life. You gotta wake up for me, Y/n.”

But she didn’t wake up. There are no movements. No sounds other than the air pumping in the machine by Dean’s chair and her heart monitor beeping relentlessly in his ear. He didn’t care how long it took he wasn’t going to leave her side until she eyes open and he could tell her just how much he loved her. He places a light kiss on the back of her hand and looks back at her face. “That’s okay, baby, he whispers. "I’ll be right here when you’re ready to wake up. I’m not going anywhere.”


	5. Barely Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean refuses to leave your side until you wake up and he can make everything right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More angst…I know, I know. I’m sorry if that counts for anything?
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!**

It has been five days since Y/n had entered the hospital. Five days since Dean has stepped foot outside this hospital room. He’s slept about three or four hours a night, hardly eaten and absolutely refused to leave his wife's side to even shower. Emma finally got him to take a shower tonight in the en-suite bathroom, but it was only because it was in the room they gave Y/n. She also had to promise to not leave the room and he left the door open, so he could hear the heart monitor and know the second anything happened.

Y/n's progress was outstanding but no one could explain why she was not waking up. The doctors assured him that it was likely from the trauma of the accident and she could wake at any moment, but the longer she was unconscious the less faith he was having in all of this leading towards a happy ending.

Emma, on the other hand, was nothing but positive. She kept reading Dean stories about people who woke up from comes years later. 'So five days was nothing' she’d say. He didn’t have the heart to tell his little girl that this wasn’t a good sign. So, he just nodded and let her read him article after article. When she wasn’t reading Dean articles she was reading Y/n her favorite trashy magazines and keeping her up to date on current events. Anything to keep the three of them connected.

Dean came out of the bathroom in the clean clothes that Emma and Sam had brought him, fastening the leather strap to the watch Emma had laid out for him. He smiles as he listens to Emma talk to her mom. “I know, I know. I can’t believe they are splitting up either. It’s heartbreaking.” She looks up at Dean and smiles. “You’ll be happy to know I made dad shower. He’s really stubborn and I honestly don’t know how you deal with him.”

He laughs and walks over to where she is sitting. “Hey, you’re all me kid. You remember that" he leans down and kisses the top of her head, “Why don’t you go home with Sam? You have that recital you need to get ready for at the end of the week and you can’t get ready if you’re here.”

She looks up at him and shakes her head. “No, I’m not doing it. I’m not doing it if mom can’t be there.” Dean opens his mouth to argue with her, but she cuts him off before he even has a chance. “So, now that you’re here to talk to her I am going to go down and get us both some dinner. We can eat together before I go home?”

Now wasn’t the time to fight her on the recital. He closes his mouth and nods in agreement. In the first few days she had argued about leaving Dean alone but after finding out it was a losing battle, regardless of the pouty lip and puppy eyes, she was okay with leaving as long as she could come back first thing in the morning.

Emma rushed off to find them dinner and It was just Y/n and Dean. Alone again. He sinks down in the chair next to her bed and reaches out to take her hand. The smaller cuts were almost completely gone, and the deeper ones were at least closing up. He takes a deep breath, “So, I talked to Sam and they arrested the guy that hit the cab. I guess he was texting on his phone. Fighting with his girlfriend or some crap and didn’t see that the light changed," he laughs humorlessly, “Son of a bitch is lucky they got to him before I did.”

The tension in the room was thick and heavy like there was a sadness hanging in the air. It was suffocating. No one needed to see or hear Dean's voice to know how deeply he was hurting or how hard Emma was taking this. It was just in the air. Clinging to them like this awful disease they couldn't cure. He wasn’t sure how much longer either one of them could take the unknown, but for now he was just going to focus on dinner with his daughter.

Emma was making her way back to the room when she heard a dark-haired woman asking for her dad at the nurse’s station. She stops and hesitantly walks over to her. “Um, you’re looking for Dean Winchester? That’s my dad…” She had no idea who this woman was and that made her stomach drop what felt like ten feet. Maybe if she had been younger she wouldn’t have put the pieces together. Her parents splitting up, neither one saying why and now this woman trying to see her dad at the hospital.

She was involved with their split Emma just wasn’t sure how.

Lisa turns to face her and gives her a sympathetic smile. “Oh, yes! Emma," she gushes. "He talks about you all the time. Your dad adores you.”

Her eyes narrow and she glares at the woman in front of her. “Yeah, I already know how much my dad loves me. Who are you and what do you want?”

“Well, I don’t know what your dad has told you about me,” she offers her a friendly smile, “But we are very close, and I wanted to check on him after I heard about your mom. I’m Lisa.” She holds out her hand for Emma to shake.

Emma laughs completely disregarding the hand she was holding out. “I doubt that," she scoffs. "I haven’t even heard about you, so you can’t be that close.”

Lisa pulls her hand back quickly becoming angry with the teenager. “Well, we’re close enough to be the reason your mom and dad are getting divorced, sweetheart. I believe your mom stumbled upon a few things of mine in his car and here we are.” She offers a smug smile in return.

Emma looks passed her to see her uncle making his way towards them. To tell her to back off his niece would Emma’s guess, but she shook her head to her uncle letting him know she could handle herself. She looks back at Lisa locking eyes with her. “No offensive but I doubt My dad even let you sit in his car. He loves that car and doesn’t fill it with trash.”

She takes another step toward Lisa. Despite being only fifteen she got her height from her dad and uncle and she was towering over Lisa. “And my parents aren’t getting divorced. In fact, my dad is moving back home so whatever messed up version of the truth is going through your head I suggest you work it out with your therapist.”

Sam walks up and puts himself between his niece and Lisa. Dean had filled Sam and Jess in on everything that happened with Lisa, and he didn’t want her putting any ideas into Emma’s head about Dean. He eyes Lisa, speaking to his niece. “Problem here, Ems?”

She shakes her head. “Nope. Just taking out the trash,” Sam smirks as Emma holds up the food she bought, “I’m going to go eat with dad.” He nods as Emma pushes past Lisa on her way back towards her mom’s room making sure to go slowly. She didn’t want her to what room her mom was in. She wasn’t sure what Sam said to her next, but Lisa turned on her heels and stormed off to the elevator.

After she was sure Lisa was gone she walks into the hospital room and hands over a burger and fries to Dean. “It’s not the best, but you need to eat.” He looks into the bag and then up at her with a questioning face making her roll her eyes. “Pie is in the bag dad.”

He grins and digs around in the bag until he finds the pie, pulling it out of the bag. “You’re my favorite daughter did I ever tell you that?” He notices her smile doesn’t quite meet her eyes. He puts the food on the tray and looks at her. “Okay, what’s wrong? I know the look. It’s your mother’s.”

She shakes her head and shrugs one shoulder. “Nothing. Just ready for mom to wake up.” She looks down at her mom laying there still unconscious. She wanted to ask Dean about Lisa but not now, but not when she was laying there like this. So, she borrows a move from her dad’s playbook and pushes it down to deal with it later.

Emma looks back at Dean with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to go home without you. Can I please stay with you tonight, daddy?”

Dean closes his eyes and nods as he waves her over to him. In the blink of an eye, she was on his lap sobbing into his shirt and clinging to him like she was scared she was going to lose him, too. He wraps his arms around her, kicking the recliner back so they could both stretch out. “It’s okay, baby girl. I got you,” he whispers against her hair.

Watching Y/n hurt like this was bad enough but having to watch Emma deal with it nearly broke him. He shifts in the seat pulling out his phone and shoots off a text to Sam letting him know he can go home without Emma tonight. Tossing the phone on the tray next to the bag of food his hand goes back to rubbing her back gently attempting to calm her down.

It didn’t take long for her cries to quiet down and breath to even out, letting Dean know she was fast asleep on his lap. He knew she hadn’t been sleeping well without him being home and with how emotionally exhausted she is he is surprised it took as long as it did. He slides her off him as he slips out of the chair leaving it all for her. He pulls the blanket he has been using for his overnight stays over her and walks over to Y/n's bedside. He sits down on the edge of the bed next to her sorting out what he wants to say.

“Baby, I know I said you could take your time but I’m gonna have to call it," he croaks. "Our baby girl can’t take any more of this and I can’t stand seeing her so broken. She won’t go to her recital on Friday. She’s worked so hard for that and is gonna throw it all away," he takes her hand in his and holds it against his chest, finally let’s go of the tears he’s been holding back, “Please baby, just open your eyes and I’ll do whatever you want. I promise I won’t leave grease covered jeans on the bathroom floor anymore. I will stop pretending I don’t stop for a burger on my way home every night. We both know you know I stop anyway. I will work fewer hours. I’ll sell the God damn shop. Just please open your eyes for me.” He watches her face for any kind of movement, but it was pointless she wasn't moving. No eye flutters. No sounds. Nothing.

Just as he was about to call it quits and let go of her hand he felt her fingers tighten around his hand as a small whimper slips from her lips. His eyes snap up to her face waiting for another sign she is awake and he wasn’t just hallucinating. He needed to know that this was real.

“Baby?” Her eyes flutter open at the sound of his voice blinking a few times to try and focus her eyes. She reaches up slowly to find plugs in her nose helping her breathe and the heaviness of the cast on her leg immediately sends her into a panic. The beeping on her heart rate monitor rising quickly as she starts to frantically pull her hand away from Dean’s.

Every time she has ever had a panic attack Dean’s voice has been the only thing that could calm her down and clear her head. He leans over her cupping her face in his hands. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. Just take a few deep breaths for me. You’re safe and in the hospital.”

She tries to match his breaths for a few beats calming herself down and bringing her heart rate back down just as the nurse walks into the room. The nurse yells down to the nurse’s station to page the doctor that she's awake. She makes her way over to check Y/n's vitals. “Good evening, Mrs. Winchester.”

Dean couldn’t wipe the grin off his face even if he wanted to. “God, it’s so good to see your beautiful eyes again. Are you hurting? Are you okay? Can you breathe alright?” He knew it was probably too many questions, but he really didn’t care. His wife was awake, and he couldn’t control himself.

“I’m…” She takes another deep breath and looks around the room trying to process what is going on around her. Where she is and who is in the room with her. She looks up at the nurse, Emma who was still sleeping and then back at Dean, “I-I’m okay. I think…” Dean lets out a sigh of relief and leans up to kiss her, but she pulls back with a puzzled look on her face, “I’m sorry but who are you?”

His smile falls instantly, and he leans back away from her trying his best to stay calm and not completely lose it. “Y/n, you…you don’t know who I am?”

She shakes her head feeling dread and panic taking her over again. It was obvious she should know who this man is and who the teenager in the chair is, but everything was blurry, and she couldn’t place them as hard she tried.

“I’m sorry. I don’t.”


	6. Favorite Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The road to recovery is just getting started and with little to no memories of the past twenty years, that road just got a lot harder to navigate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

_I’m sorry. I don’t._

When you think about all the ways your life can fall apart most of the time you see huge breakdowns, dramatic slow-motion events you can’t do anything to stop, or some sort of crippling accidents that make you less than you were. You don’t often picture something that can make you fall apart, lose yourself completely, will be something as simple as four words.

_I’m sorry. I don’t._

Dean Winchester never really thought he would find himself here, never thought the end of his life would be here in this moment. He always thought it would be from being too damn reckless. From drinking too much. His macho bravado finally getting the best of him late one night and coming out on the bad end of a fight.

The way he hoped it would end though, was with you. You curled up next to him in bed, a bit more wrinkly and still just as beautiful at ninety something years old. He would give you as many ‘I love yous’ as his old bones could muster and then you both would just slowly drift off together. That’s the only he wants to lose you and the only way he wants to go.

This though? This is the worst possible way to see his life come to end. The only thing worse than holding your hand as you died in his arms is this. Having you look at him like you have no idea who he is. Your eyes didn't have the same sparkle they always did when you looked at him. All the years, all the memories you’ve shared and the life you’ve built together was gone. All of it was gone from your eyes as if it had never happened.

You didn’t remember the first time he kissed you when he asked you to marry him or the day you had Emma. Hell, you didn’t even remember having your daughter. You didn’t remember your wedding or the way you do your hair that always makes him come undone. Or those black lace-up heels you always save for your anniversary because you know how much he loves them. He was nothing to you. Absolutely nothing and he was broken.

Just like that his life was over because If you didn’t love him, didn’t know him he may as well be dead.

“Dean, you heard the doctor. It’s most likely just temporary. She went through a pretty big ordeal and her mind needs to heal. Just like her body.” Sam was trying his best to calm his brother down and Dean knew that but if the roles were reversed they both knew there wouldn’t be anything Dean could say to fix the situation.

“My wife doesn’t remember me, Sam. I think we’re friggin’ past the whole let’s hug it out crap.” Dean runs a hand down his face to wipe away any signs of exhaustion.

“Look, let’s go back in and try to talk to her. Remember what he said last night? We need to talk to her and try to get her to remember small things and then the rest will come rushing back.” He pats his older brother on his shoulder and nudges him towards your hospital room.

Dean nods, “Yeah, okay.”

He pushes the door open slowly, a slow grin spreading on his face when he sees his girls sitting cross-legged on the bed. Emma was sitting across from you with photo albums around the two of you as she pointed things out to you trying her best to jog your memory. You had one leg folded under and your broken leg straight out propped up on two pillows, but your attention was solely on your daughter. If he didn’t know what was really going on it would just look like any other mother and daughter sharing a moment, but it wasn’t.

You smile at the teenager in front of you who was going into detail about her baby pictures. Sure, you didn’t have full memories, but it was hard to deny she was your daughter and there wasn’t a question as to whether or not you loved her.

It had been a little over a day since you woke up and the fog had started to lift more but you still couldn’t place people or moments from your life. You knew Dean and Emma were most important to you and you could see faces if you tried really hard, but you had no real memories with them. Emma was doing her best to help you place everyone’s face. You look down at the picture she is pointing to and nod, “Does your dad take me ice-skating a lot?”

Dean winces at the question. That hurt more than he expected. It was an important memory and to be honest one of his favorites. It was more than ice-skating to the two of you. He clears his throat finally gaining your attention and steps closer to the bed. “Yeah," he croaks. "I take you every year on Valentine’s Day. It’s kind of our thing.”

Both of your heads turn when you hear Dean voice and the second you lay eyes on him you can’t help the smile on your face. There was something that comforted you about him being near you. He made you feel… whole.

He sits down in the chair by your bed his eyes never leaving yours. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like if he just kept your eyes on his you would remember everything. He knows it sounds stupid, but he is pretty desperate at this point.

Emma sticks her leg out and nudges her dad's leg with her pink fuzzy sock covered foot. “Tell her daddy. Tell her why.”

He grins at the excitement in his daughter’s voice. “In high school, we went to the rink on a date and you didn’t know how to skate, still don’t, and you fell into me and," his eyes finally dropped as he tries to gather his thoughts, “and I kissed you. I kissed you and the second our lips met I knew you were it for me.”

“Dad was a bit of a player before yo-“

“Emma!”

“What?” she asks with a shrug. “Just because she doesn’t remember right now doesn’t mean she won’t ever, dad. Besides, I think it’s sweet. You gave up your bad boy ways because you fell in love with mom.” She sighs dreamily.

Dean shakes his head. “You’re going to kill me, kiddo. Why don’t you go with Uncle Sam and let him help you practice for your driving test?” He tosses the keys to her and she grins when she realizes it’s his keys. The keys to the Impala.

“Seriously?!" she squeals. "I can drive it!?” She was off the bed slipping her shoes off and out the door to find Sam before Dean could say anything else.

It was hard to not smile at the two of them going back and forth. “That doesn’t happen often I am guessing,” you ask as you scoot over on the bed making room for him to join you.

Dean laughs. “No, I don’t even let you drive Baby. To be fair, you are a terrible driver.”

“Hey!” you feign hurt.

He just grins at you and moves over to join you on the bed. He's wrapping an arm around your shoulder without even thinking. Habit. He clears his throat. “Is- is, uh, this okay?” He looks down at you cuddling into his side and grins.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he whispers.

Dean places a kiss on top of your head and pulls the open photo album onto his legs. The second the doctor had said that pictures or home movies would help jog your memories Emma had begged Sam to take her home. She grabbed every single photo album in the house, even some pictures that were hanging up on the walls and brought your computer. Anything that could help bring you back was now scattered throughout your hospital room.

“Emma doesn’t seem too upset…I mean she just seems like she’s handling all this okay,” you mutter. The motherly worry in your voice was just as present as always. You look up at him to find him smiling at you.

He nods and flips through the pages of the photos slowly. “Yeah, she’s an optimist that’s for sure. If there’s a chance everything will work out then she believes it will with all her heart. She gets that from you.” He closes that album and tosses it on the bed grabbing a black one that looked like it was much, much older than the rest. The edges are worn on the outside cover, the spine looked like it had been opened hundreds of times and the pages on the inside were starting to fall apart a bit.

Dean looks down at you and points to the first picture. It was a picture of Dean as a teenager and what you assumed was you but your face was buried in his neck. He had his arm around you in what looked like an outdoor football stadium. “Emma had a good idea, but we need to start from the beginning.” Your fingers run over the worn-down pictures and he continues. “This picture was taken before we started dating. We were supposed to be working on our speech for History and I convinced you to ditch with me. I took you out the football field where we could be alone, and you basically had a panic attack the entire time. You were scared of getting caught and it was pretty adorable considering no one was out there and it's not like the coach was gonna get his best player in trouble."

He points to the one under it. “This one. I am sure you can tell by my lovely navy bowtie but it’s Homecoming.”

“I do love a bowtie,” you muse.

“I know. That’s why I wore it.” His grin widens as he looks down at you. “I have never seen anything as beautiful as you looked that day. Until, Emma was born and then you blew me away again on our wedding day.”

You look up at him with tears in your eyes, your frustration finally showing through. It felt like you were a stranger in your own life and you were missing out on all the amazing and important moments in your life. They were gone, and it felt like you would never get them back.

Dean could feel your tension before even seeing your tears and pulls you closer to him. “It’s okay, baby," he whispers against your hair. "Just focus on the pictures and what I’m saying for now, okay? Don’t try to remember everything. I’ve got the rest of my life to help you get your memories back. We got time.”

You hastily wipe your fallen tears and nod. Your eyes glancing back at the album on his lap. He takes his time going through every single picture, showing you people in the background, talking about where it was taken and what happened before and after. Emma had the right idea, but he just had a feeling you needed to go back to the beginning if you were going to make any improvements.

The last picture in the book took your breath away and made your heart stop for a moment. It was a pretty ordinary picture, to be honest. If you had your memories you probably would have breezed past this one. It wasn’t from some big event or moment. Just an average day. You were laying on what you have been told was Dean’s bed, Dean was laying on top of you with his head on your very swollen stomach as you run your fingers through his hair.

Dean smiles as he watches your fingers run over the image. “Yeah, That’s our baby girl in there. I was singing to my girls and she started kicking.” He looks at you. “I guess I probably should have told you. I mean, to me it’s just obvious. We got pregnant with-“

“Emma. We had her in high school.” You take the words right out of his mouth. It was taking everything in him to keep his face as impassive as possible. He didn’t want to get his hope up if you had just figured it out the math on your own or gathered the information from the pictures he showed you.

You squeeze your eyes shut and lean your head back against his shoulder trying to force the memories out. “I told you I was pregnant right before you went out to play… I wanna say football, a-and, and you walked away from me. A fight maybe? I'm not sure. I don’t remember what game, but I remember you walked away and I felt sick like, l-like everything was coming down around me.  I thought I had lost you and you didn’t want me anymore.” You take a deep breath, “I had to get out of there before I broke down crying, so I turned around to leave and then you grabbed my arm and stopped me.”

“And I said…” Dean reaches out and takes your hand into his. “Where do you think you’re going? You can’t just walk away with my whole world.” Dean grins as he watches you mouth the words as he says them.

You remembered.

You open your eyes to find his bright green orbs shining back at you. He looked like ten years had been given back to him, but it was just one memory that took over an hour to pull out and it wasn't even fully formed. “I know you desperately want me to remember and so do I," she says wistfully. "I’m trying but I think we may have to live with only bits and pieces…”

The thought of disappointing him made your heart ache but you couldn't help it. An hour later and it was the only memory that came back to you. The only thing you could do was pray he would wait for you. You may not remember everything about your relationship right now, but you know without a doubt you love the man sitting next to you. You love him with everything in you and even if your memories never fully come back you’re hoping that will be enough for him.

He places a soft kiss on your forehead and shrugs. “I can live in bits and pieces as long as you’re the one I’m living with.”


	7. History Repeating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settling back into life and home you can't remember can be hard, but it's even harder when the person you thought you could trust is keeping secrets from you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long to get out. I have had the WORST writer's block and I couldn't get it out.

Three weeks after being admitted to the hospital you were finally able to go home and while you were grateful to be out of the hospital it also felt like you were going home with people you barely knew to a place you didn’t recognize. Normally, leaving the hospital after a traumatic event would be comforting. You have your own bed and comfy blankets, your photos, a shower that didn't smell like a hospital, and just feel at home. Right now all of that felt completely foreign to you. It was like staying at a friend’s house for the first time. Sure, you knew it was safe there, but you didn’t feel like you were going home.

Dean had barely left your side since you woke up and Emma only left your side to go to school. The only time they were not present was during the hours of eight in the morning until about four. Dean took Emma to school, went to work for a bit and returned to the hospital once he had picked up Emma from school. It was nice to have him as your one constant force, but you felt like you were letting him down every time you couldn’t remember something.

Your memory was getting better but it was all chopped up and you couldn’t put anything in order. Most of the time you weren’t even sure what you were remembering. Outside of therapy for your leg, your doctor had mentioned therapy to help with your regaining your memories and Dean jumped on the chance. Part of you was hurt by how quickly he jumped up to get the information. He seemed so desperate to get the old you back you weren’t sure that he would continue to love you if you never became that woman again.

The first week home was confusing, trying and a bit nerve-racking to be honest. Dean wouldn’t let you out of bed even with your crutches and the one time he caught you trying to make it to the bathroom without help he told he would ‘tie your cute little ass’ to the bed if he had to. That was the last time you tried to make it out of bed without help.

It was Saturday, so Emma was home and that was helping to distract Dean from being an overprotective mother hen and allowing you to get some peace and quiet. However, it only happened after he dug out Emma’s old baby monitor. He put one on your bedside table and the other hooked to his belt. That’s how he left your bedroom this morning. Baby monitor on his hip and a shit-eating grin.

You decided it wasn’t worth the fight if you got to nap without him watching over you like you are a porcelain doll. If he wanted to look like a doofus who were you to stop him? It was his house too after all.

Emma sat with you until you fell asleep and then made her way through the house to find Dean. It was time for the talk. She pads through the house until she stops at the open garage hearing Metallica playing softly from the old stereo that Dean kept up on the shelf. She hovers in the doorway of the garage watching Dean tinker under the hood of his car. It’s been a while since she came into the garage and saw her father covered in grease and working on the Impala. Growing up it was a sight she often came to find, and she never really knew how much it meant to her until he moved out and the garage became this empty, quiet space that made heartache.

This was a nice to see again, but after everything, Lisa said she was starting to wonder how long would it last.

“You wanna come help princess? I’m about to change the oil.” Dean’s voice puls her out of the dark thoughts that were clogging up her head. He didn’t need to look up or hear her voice to know she was there. He could feel her standing there. Over the years she has helped him fix almost every single part on this car and it always led to her spilling some secret, asking for advice or as she got older begging to go out somewhere. Either way, it was some of his best memories with his daughter. She slowly makes her way over to Dean and leans against the car, leaning a bit closer than she normally does. “I guess so," she mumbles.

He looks up at her from under the hood after feeling her hip lean against his side and slowly he stands up spinning around to lean against the frame of the car waiting for her to say whatever she obviously needs to.

She leans her head on his shoulder and sighs. “Dad? Can I talk to you about something?”

Damn, if he didn’t know his daughter. He hides his smile as he grabs the rag hanging on the side of the car. He starts to rub the grease off his hands and tilts his head to the side to look at her. "Of course. You can always talk to me. What about?”

“Lisa," she says with no emotion. It took a lot of willpower for Emma to keep emotion out of her voice when saying her name.

His whole body freezes as that name passes her lips. That was not what he was expecting her to bring up now. Sam had mentioned they had a run in at the hospital so while he was shocked she waited this long to bring it up he still didn’t think that was what was bothering her right now. He slowly goes back to wiping his fingers clean and nods for her to go on.  “Ask away baby girl. You know I won’t lie to you.”

Emma crosses her arms over her chest keeping her eyes glued to the crack in the concrete that runs down the middle of their garage. She was struggling to find the words she needs to talk about this with her dad. She didn’t want to accuse him of anything, but she did want the truth. Even if the truth was hard for her to hear.

“So, she came to the hospital when mom was still out of it and said," she chews on the inside of her cheek trying to control her nerves and the tears that were threatening to fall, “said-did you, I won’t be mad,” her voice starts to quiver as she wipes a fallen tear with the back of her hand, “did you cheat on mom with her? She said you’re leaving us to be with her and I can’t lose you, too.” For a fifteen-year-old, she had been holding everything together amazingly well, but after everything they have been through recently the thought of her dad, the person she looks up to the most, leaving her like that made all of her emotions boil over.

She finally just broke down.

Dean grabs the back of her head gently and pulls her into his arms letting her crying into his chest. “Emma, I am not leaving you. Ever.” He closes his eyes, regaining his composure for a split-second before continuing in a steady voice, “I am not divorcing your mom. I love her more than anyone.  Except you that is.  Even if there was some crazy, unforeseen force came along and your mom and I did get a divorce I would never, ever leave you. You’re stuck with me, okay kiddo?”

“O-okay, daddy,” Dean’s chest tightened as she choked out those whispered words through her tears.

He takes a deep breath and shifts her back just enough so that he could look her in the eye. He knew he had to address her other question and he didn’t want her to ever doubt what he was about to say to her, so he needs to look in her eye as he said this.  He looks into her bright green eyes that matched his own. “I have never once cheated on your mom. Not in high school, not while you were growing up and certainly not five months ago with Lisa,” his voice didn’t waver or give any sign that he wasn’t telling her the truth.  

Emma nods, still looking completely defeated. “Why did she say that then?”

“I don’t know baby. She’s got some crazy idea that if I didn’t have you and your momma I would be with her, but I already told her the only two women I will ever love is you first and then your momma.” He kisses her forehead and pulls her back into a hug.

Lisa had finally gone too far. It was one thing to mess with him, but no one messed with his daughter.

When Dean woke this morning he had planned to make dinner with Emma and bring a plate up to you in bed so the two of you could talk but after the talk with Emma and the thirty minutes of comforting his sobbing daughter he just didn’t have it in him. So he settled for ordering pizza and made his way up to the bedroom the two of you used to share to take a shower. Things were going well but with your memories still fuzzy, even though you trusted him, Dean wasn’t going to make you feel uncomfortable. So, he opted to stay in the guest room until you asked him to come back and share a bed with you.

He wasn’t going to blow this and if that meant going slow then that’s what he was going to do. You were calling the shots and he was perfectly fine letting you take control for a bit.

Dean walks into the bedroom still covered in grease and the weight of the day was all over his face but the second he looks at you his face lights up and it feels like all that weight washes off of him for a bit. You've always been his quiet place. His light in all the dark. “Hey, beautiful. I, uh, I just ordered pizza. I hope that’s okay.” He sinks down onto the wooden chair in the room, the same chair he always sat in after work. You put it there after he ruined your favorite chair. He toes off his boots and sighs heavily. “I know I promised my burgers but It’s been a long day.”

You look up from the laptop on your lap and give him a small smile. “I’m sorry. At least you’re not trying to remember all your passwords only to find out that you also have to remember the answers to your secret questions to get your passwords.”

He grins and stands up pulling his shirt over his head tossing it in the laundry basket. Your mouth falls open slightly as you stare at his bare chest. You knew it wasn’t the first time you had seen him this way considering you were married and had a daughter, but it sure as hell felt like it was. He slowly walks over to the bed where you’re laying as he pops open the button on his jeans, grinning smugly at the way your eyes darkened.

You were so distracted by the button on his jeans you didn’t notice he was trying to get your attention until he cups your jaw and tilts your head to meet his eyes. He smiles and leans down barely brushing your lips with his. “Your password is apple pie and our anniversary," he nods towards the wedding photo on the bedside table with your wedding date engraved on the frame, “No caps. One word.  We had pie at our reception and you made a comment that I like the pie more than you so it’s a running joke.”

“Oh…” You were trapped by those beautiful green eyes and couldn’t look away.  

He leans in pressing his lips more firmly to yours but not enough to be a real kiss. Right as you start to lean forward to deepen the kiss he moves up and plants a firm kiss on your forehead. “I’m going to shower.” He pulls back chuckling as you lean forward chasing his lips. “We’ve got thirty minutes before pizza so whatever you’re doing on there," he points at your laptop, “don’t get too caught up.”

You blink a few times and finally manage to snap your mouth shut as you regain your composure. Glancing over towards the bathroom you can see the shit-eating grin on his face in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. You roll your eyes. “Be careful. That head of yours gets any bigger and you won’t be able to make it through the door,” you quip.

Dean chuckles. “Yes, ma’am.” He winks as he sheds the rests of his clothes and hops in the shower leaving you with alone with your thoughts.

Shaking your head, you come out of your daze and type in your password grinning as you finally have access to your email. “Anything that man doesn’t know about me?” you whisper to the empty room. You didn’t need anyone to answer you anyway. You already knew the answer and it made your heart flip.  You push Dean into the back of your mind and start to dig through your email hoping to find something that will jog your memory and boy did you find it.

It didn’t take Dean long in the shower, unlike his usual showers. The moment the two of you had before he got in the shower made him anxious to get out. He wanted to see where that was going and if he hadn’t been covered in grease he would have tossed the laptop onto the floor and seen right then and there. Of course, grease had never stopped him before. You always did like when the two of you roleplayed.

He pulls a pair of black sweat pants on and his old grey AC/DC shirt before making his way into the bedroom drying his hair with his towel. “I feel like I just wasted a week of work off…” He trails off when he sees the look on your face. He drops his wet towel into the hamper the moment he spots the tears in your eyes and is immediately by your side and reaching for your hand. “Baby, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?”

You slowly pull your hand away before he can grab it and turn your laptop around so he can see what you were looking at. He looks down at your hands that you pulled away from him. He didn't have time to process that rejection before he was looking up at the computer and his hearts sinks as he reads the subject of the e-mail open.

It’s time you remembered who your husband really is.

He immediately closes the laptop and tosses it at the end of the bed without reading the rest of the e-mail. There was no point in reading whatever fantasy she created to drive a wedge in your marriage. Dean scoots closer to you and takes a breath to steady himself. “Okay, I should have said something before and I should have been the one to tell you what was going on, but-“

Your fingers press against his lips to stop him. “Don’t. You should have told me we were separated before the accident, Dean. You made me think we had the perfect marriage, but we weren’t even together when the accident happened.”

His fingers gently wrap around your wrist and he pulls your hand away from his mouth, but not before kissing the tips of your fingers. “That’s not true," he argues. "We made up the night before and that-” his jaw clenches as he thinks about Lisa “- that woman filled your head with lies. Deep down I know you know that. She’s…” He runs his free hand down his fac., “She made sure you would think I cheated so she could get you out of the way. Everyone at the shop heard her admit that the day you got into your accident and now she is trying to use the accident to turn you against me.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and lean your head back against the headboard trying to keep your tears at bay. You were trying to remember but everything was still foggy. Just when you thought there may be a light in all this darkness you get a hard shove and fall right back into the black haze.

You hadn’t said anything in a while and Dean was starting to panic. He wasn’t going to lose you after everything the two of you had been through. Not after getting you back and the damn accident. It wasn't going to happen.  He wipes your tears away with his thumbs. “I need you to just remember us, remember me. Remember the man you married.” He slowly leans forward placing a soft kiss on your lips, running his hands up and down your arms. “We can work through this, baby. We can get things back to the way they used to be. We just need time.”

You lean your forehead against his and take a deep breath. “I think we’re as close as we are ever going to be again,” you whisper.

Dean’s eyes snap open to find your teary eyes looking back at him. He wasn’t going to listen that nonsense. “No, I refuse to believe that.” His eyes are bloodshot and slowly filling with tears as he gently tightens his grip on your arms. “I know you don’t remember everything right now, but I do. I remember every second of our love story and there is no way this is how our story ends. I refuse to believe that this is what kills us because our love is bigger than this and there is no way I am just going to let you give up and take the easy way out. Our love story is worth every fight, every sleepless night and every single struggle we have been through. Including this one.”

“Dean, I don’t even remember our wedding day. I can’t remember the first time you told me you loved me, but I do remember that damn women’s face and I can still hear her voice ringing as clear as day in my ear as she told me you were sleeping with her…” You take a shaky breath. “I don’t know that I can trust you when you hide things from me. I don’t even know you.”

He tightens his hold on your hand. “I know it feels like you can’t trust me, but I promise you can. I will spend the rest of my life gaining your trust back. We can move as slow as you want.”

You slowly pull your hand out of his hold and lean back away from him. His eyes drop to his hand as you look down towards your feet at the laptop he tossed to the end of the bed. “I think- I think I need some space from this. From you. Just until I can get my head clear.” You shakily reach up and wipe angrily at your tears. “C-can you just have Emma bring up my dinner and I can call and have someone help me tomorrow, so you can go back to work.”

Dean’s eyes were still glued to his empty hand, but he nods despite the want to argue. He pushes down the fight that was building in him. The fight to make things right this moment, not tomorrow or a week from now, but right now. Now wasn’t the time if he wanted to win back your trust and he knew that. He slowly stands up and kisses the top of your head. “I’ll send Emma up with dinner,” His voice betrayed his cool demeanor. It was rough and filled with every emotion he was holding back.

He walks towards the stairs pausing in the doorway of your bedroom and looks back at you locking eyes with you. “I just need you to know I am not going anywhere. I’ll spend every single day of the rest of my life waiting for you if that’s what it takes. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to remember me.”


	8. Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma is still unable to forgive her father and Dean learns a truth he was not ready to hear.

Emma was packing her lunch in silence as her father worked around her in the kitchen, glancing over her way every few seconds. Their kitchen wasn’t a tight space, but this morning it was feeling very, very small. Things have been tense between the two of them since she found out that Dean left out pretty important information when it came to her mom's recovery and repairing their marriage. He promised her he would try. He promised. It wasn’t even two months after he made that promise that he stopped and messed everything up. Again.

If he had just told the truth from the moment her mom woke up maybe she wouldn’t be this mad at him and maybe it would have helped bring her memory back. She was upset and frustrated with him and her teenage brain didn’t know how to process everything that was going on, so she just cut him off and avoided him.

He knew it was the only way she knew how to deal with it, but it was eating Dean up the more she ignored him.

Dean walks up behind her and places a plastic wrapped brownie on the counter next to her. She looks down at it noticing the sticker on the wrapper. It was from her favorite bakery. The one that was right down the street from his shop.

She contemplates taking it. She does love those brownies. They are the perfect amount of sweet, fudgy chocolate and crispy edges, but if she takes it it would be more than a brownie. It’s an apology from Dean and she’s not ready to accept one just yet. She nudges the brownie to the middle of the kitchen island and goes back to packing her lunch.

He sighs and walks over to her left side pulling her lunch bag away from her grabbing her attention. “I know you’re pissed at me, but you can’t keep ignoring me princess," he begs.

Emma leans against the counter. Her eyes downcast. Ignoring her father’s pleas. He’s never broken a promise to her before. Not one that really mattered anyway. Sure, he said he could come to a recital and got stuck at work or said they could go for ice cream and ended up too busy. Nothing that would hurt her. Nothing that could destroy their family.

“Look at me, Ems,” Dean asks. His voice is soft but pleading.

She takes a deep breath and looks up at her father, teary-eyed. “What, dad? What do you want me to say?” Dean starts to speak but Emma cuts him off, “You promised me. You promised me that you were going to try with mom. You looked me in the eye, locked pinkies with me and promised and then-then you went and lied to mom!”

“Emma, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a li-“

“Save it, dad. You didn’t straight up lie to her, but you didn’t tell her the truth either-“ she shouts back at him“-You broke her trust and mine. She was starting to trust you again!”

The sound of someone honking outside brought their argument to an end. Emma angrily wipes at the tears that had fallen while she was yelling. She hated that she cried when she was angry. It always made her feel like she looked weak and she hated looking weak. She’s too much like her daddy. “I have to go. My ride is here.”

Dean nods wistfully.

She grabs her lunch leaving the untouched brownie on the counter to haunt Dean for the rest of the day. He tosses a paper towel over the brownie on the counter so he didn’t have to look at it. He didn’t need some smug brownie mocking him in his own kitchen.

Dean was supposed to be leaving you alone so he stayed back when you came downstairs for your appointment. He promised to give you some space to figure out what you wanted, but how could you figure what you wanted if you were ignoring a pretty big part of it? So, every day he stays around the house until you leave for therapy. Hoping you will ask him for help down the stairs. Ask for help getting ready. Beg him to take to you to the hospital so you didn’t have to do it alone.

You didn’t though.

It’s been two and a half weeks and you haven’t shown the slight less interest in talking to him. You made your way around on your crutches completely ignoring him. Balancing with one arm. Hopping on one foot from bed to the toilet. At night, you just ate dinner in bed with Emma and that left Dean eating alone. Most nights Dean would head to the shop once Emma had you in bed and asleep.  

Today was different. He woke up feeling different. Like something was actually going to go good for once. Of course, that was squashed when Emma rejected his apology brownie and essentially ripped his heart out before he even finished one cup of coffee.

“No-I just- Carrie, but-“The sound of your voice carried through the quiet empty house. “This is kind of last minute- I’ll figure it out. Thanks anyway.” Maybe this was finally his chance. It was fate. If Dean Winchester believed in all that crap, this would be fate.

Dean walked into the living to find you on the verge of tears, barely able to hold yourself up on your crutches. You were dressed in what you called ‘nice yoga pants’ and one of Dean’s smaller white shirts. He let that go for the moment. You were all ready to go to your session and something was clearly wrong. As much as he liked you wearing his clothes and would normally make some corny comment, he had a feeling you wouldn’t like it and you were upset enough.

He had an aching need to scoop you up and kiss away those tears but if you weren’t talking to him there was a high chance you would punch him in the face if he tried to kiss you right now. Instead, he just stands there awkwardly clearing his throat to get your attention.

“Is, uh-Is everything okay? Carrie on her way?” Dean asks.

He always hated Carrie. She wasn’t a close friend or anything but she always let you down. Missed calls. Skipped lunches. Shopping dates bailed on. Dean hated the way it made you feel like she was better than you or something. Nobody was better than his wife in his book.

You look up from your phone to briefly glance at him. “She’s not coming. Bailed on me like always.” You turn your attention back to your phone scrolling through your contacts. Sam can’t. Jess is busy at work. Emma is at school.

Dean doesn’t offer to drive you. He doesn’t say a thing. You are obviously trying to find someone else to take you and that someone wasn’t him.

You promised me you were going to try with mom. Emma’s words were screaming in his head. Try.

This would be one of those times. He should try. Or at least remind her that the offer still stands. He shifts back and forth on his feet. “I can,” Dean says. “I can take you. If you want. I’m already here and I don’t have anything planned today. Plus, I would like to go with you. Hear from the doc that you are doing okay.” His voice is so earnest and pure it makes a few tears slide down your cheeks. He didn’t know what to do. Keep talking? Hold you? Offer to pay for an Uber? He had no idea how to deal with this so he just stood there like a moron.

After what felt like an eternity he saw a small nod from you and his entire body felt lighter. Happier. Like he was floating or something. Dear God, he was giddy. Dean Winchester was giddy. This is what he was supposed to do today. This was the difference he felt this morning.

“Okay,” He chirps. “I just- let me get my keys.” He starts to walk back towards the kitchen and stops patting his pocket. “Just kidding. Got ‘em.” He walks over towards you and holds out his arm without hesitation at all. You’re his wife. His everything. Taking care of you was just like loving Emma or changing the oil in Baby. Second nature. Something he was born to do.

You reach out and cling to his arm mumbling a gentle thank you. He didn’t have to take care of you after the way you pushed him off. The way you told him to get lost. You are the reason his relationship with Emma has taken a turn for the worst. Logically you knew that wasn’t entirely true. A lot of their issues were because of the choices Dean made and your reaction to those choices. Still felt like you were to blame.

Dean guides you out to baby helping you into the front seat and tossing your crutches into the backseat. He skips around the front of the car with a stupid grin on his face. You hide your chuckle behind your hand. He looks so happy. You have missed that. Seeing that goofy look on his face.

Slipping into the fronts seat he looks over at you and smiles. “What?” he asks curiously. “Are you laughing at me?”

You drop your hand and smile. “Yeah, I forgot how dorky you look when you skip.”

Dean smiles as he starts the engine. He wants to ask what you mean when you say forgot, but he knew it didn’t mean what he thought. What he hoped. Emma would have said something, no matter how mad she was, if you got your memories back she would have told him.

“Okay, let’s go see how bendy that leg is” He says, grinning at the blush on your cheeks.

Your physical therapist had asked if you wanted him to wait outside but you told him, in a very matter of fact way, Dean is my husband. Of course, he’s coming with me. Like he should know who Dean is even though he hasn’t been to an appointment with you and he was fairly certain you haven’t talked about him at all.

Dean was just as shocked as your therapist but man did it make him grin. By the time he got home, he was going to have to ice his face from all this smiling. Dean helped you on to the mat and then let your therapist take over while he stood nearby, watching everywhere this dude was putting his hands. He didn’t like the way this guy was looking at you. Besides his name was stupid. Steve. It’s not even cool. Dean sounds way cooler than Steve.

“Okay, Mrs. Winchester we’re going to start with a straight leg raise today.” He helps lay you back on what reminds of you the blue mats from gym class high school. The last time you were on those mats Dean was the one hovering over you with a hand slowly making it's way up your skirt...

Steve lifts your straight leg in the air about twelve inches causing you to wince.

Dean immediately jumps in. “Hey- woah there sparky,” he snaps at the therapist. “I thought this was supposed to make her feel better? Why is she wincing?”

It takes everything in Steve to not laugh at Dean’s reaction. It was worse than yours for crying out loud. “Her leg muscles are stiff,” he explains gently. “Our first few exercises are to loosen her up and then we can work on stretching the muscles that were injured in the wreck.”

Dean mumbles something about showing off before sitting in the chair outside the mat. Steve looks down at you. “He’s cute. All protective caveman," he whispers. “Should I tell him I am gay or let him freak out some more?” He lets your leg down gently giving you a break for ten seconds before raising it again, marking off another one of your fifteen reps.

You laugh and shake your head. “No, don’t tell him. We’re not on the best of terms so a little jealousy wouldn’t hurt.” You both look over at a very unimpressed Dean. Probably a symptom of all the whispering.

Steve laughs and raises his voice so Dean will relax. “Where is Carrie anyway? She normally brings you in when Emma is in school.”

You roll your eyes. “She bailed on me. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. The entire time I have known her she had let me down and bailed on me more than actually showing up. My Dean saved the day.”

“Wait a damn minute,” Dean calls from the sidelines making you and Steve look at him.

He was so wrapped up in what you said about Carried he missed that you called him your Dean. That was the third time today. You mentioned not being surprised by Carrie at the house, dean being dorky, and now, the entire time I have known her. Dean lifts his head and looks at you. There was no way you remembered and he didn’t know. This had to be something Emma told you and calling Dean a dork, well again had to be Emma. She calls him a dork daily. He shouldn’t be surprised.

He had to know. He couldn’t just let this one drop.

“Do you- do you remember? I mean you said a few things at the house and now…” he laughs bitterly, “Did you get your memories back?” he asks on the verge of losing it. You wouldn’t do that to him no matter how mad you were, right? Dean didn’t mess up so bad that you were keeping that from him.

You lean your head back on the mat. Eyes anchored in those bright green whirlpools. “Most of them came back a few weeks ago. Still missing pieces but- yeah, I remember, De.”


	9. Truths & Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth finally comes to light and the fate of your marriage is made clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much angst in this chapter. Just a warning. Slight Daddy!Dean fluff but mostly just angst. This is the second to last part
> 
> ***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

Dean thought he knew about heartbreak. Thought he knew what it meant to feel pain. To feel like something had swallowed up his heart sank its teeth in and would never let go. He was wrong. You had your memories back and didn’t say anything. This pain had dug its teeth into his heart and those scars would never heal.

It had been weeks and you never said a word. Nothing. He wasn’t mad at you. How could he be? You were hurt. Still recovering after the accident and Dean has been less than the perfect husband as of late. He’s upset with himself. He drove you away. He put a wedge so deep between the two of you that you didn’t want to tell him something that important.  That life-changing. You could remember your wedding day. The day he vowed to spend forever loving you and only you. Forever and Always. Every kiss. Every I love you. You remembered, and you brushed it off and continued to separate yourself from him.

He ruined the one good thing in his life and he had no way of fixing it.

You sit up on the mat and look at Steve who nods in understanding. You need a moment alone with your husband. He exits the small therapy room where you do your sessions in and leaves the two of you alone. “Dean. Can you, please come sit with me. I can’t get up without help and my leg is killing me from those stretches.”

Dean slowly pushes himself out of the chair and walks over to you, sinking down to his knees next to you.

You start to chew on your bottom lip. Trying to find the right words to explain why you didn’t say anything. You really didn’t know why you held back. When things started to flow back your first instinct was to run to him and tell him you could remember all of it. Your first date. Emma’s first Christmas. The way he nips at your bottom lip when he pulls back after kissing you. The feather-light kisses he places on your forehead and the Eskimo kisses he always gives when you make love. It was all there.

Some of your memories had black spots sure, but you It was like the puzzle was only missing two pieces out of the whole picture. She figures she better start from the beginning and tells him everything she has been feeling because the truth was after everything that happened things just weren’t the same.

“Emma doesn’t know,” she assures him. She didn’t want him thinking he was the only one in the dark. “I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say, Dean. I don’t fully remember every detail. I have the basic timeline and most of the important things are there but it’s like I got blackout drunk at every big event and halfway through I passed out and can’t remember the rest. I do remember everything that happened with Lisa and everything since my accident. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

He could barely focus on what you were saying. He just needs to be close to you right now. He reaches over and takes your trembling hands in his, nodding towards his shirt that you’re wearing. “You look much better in that than I do.” He tugs you closer to him and looks down at the ring on your finger, smiling. That had to mean something. God, he hoped it meant something.

“I know you don’t believe me, but I didn’t do anything with her. She’s been coming by the shop and flirting with me constantly. At first, I just…I am not going to lie here, it was nice to have someone flirt with me. We haven’t been that way with each other in so long.” He looks up to meet your gaze, “Then she was coming by every day, making comments about you and Ems. I told her to stop coming by, that I loved you and whatever she thought was going to happen wasn’t.” He huffs, “about a week later you found her panties in your seat that day at the shop.”

It was time to come clean. He couldn’t keep hiding things from you to protect you. He was obviously failing to protect you, so he may as well be honest.

“After the accident, I swear I wasn’t trying to lie to you. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared, baby. I still am.” There haven’t been many times in your life that Dean Winchester has admitted to being scared. The last time he said those words to you was the day Emma was born.

“Scared of what?” you prod gently.

“Of losing you. Seeing you in the hospital like that…” He shakes his head and wipes the single tear that had fallen with his free hand. “I never want to feel that way again. I never want to know what it’s like to not have you right here by my side. Where you’re meant to be because you know you’re meant to be there baby. If soulmates are real you’re mine. You’re part of me.”  

You cup his cheek in your hand pulling his head to face you. He looks at you with red tear-filled eyes. “You can’t lose me, Dean. You’ve been in my heart since 10th grade…” He nuzzles your hand and melts into your side. “But…”

Dean tenses and slowly pulls away from your hand to look in your eyes. “But?”

You could feel your eyes burning from the tears you were trying to hold back. “I don’t know where we go from here De. My whole life you have been the one good and constant thing I could lean on. The guy that I could count on for everything. I gave my heart over to you without an ounce of fear. I knew it would be safe with you. You would keep me safe no matter what. It didn't matter what happened in our lives because I would always have you but now…” You shake your head as you finally let your tears fall freely.

“You don’t know if you can trust me to be that guy anymore.”

Your silent tears were turning into full on sobs and all you could do was nod.

He slides his arms under you and gently pulls you into his lap careful of the leg still in a cast. “It’s okay. We can fix it. If anyone can fix this, it’s us, baby.” He rocks you back and forth rubbing soothing circles on your back to calm your sobs.

“I-I don’t think so Dean.” You tuck your head under his chin and sniff into his chest. “I think, maybe, once the school year is over,” Dean closes his eyes waiting for the words he never thought he would hear from you, “I mean, I can file if you don’t…”

Dean leans his cheek on top of her head to hide his tears. “Let’s get through the school year for Ems and if you want me to file for divorce,” he chokes out. “I’ll do it, baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. If ending- If that will make you happy I’ll do it.”

“Thank you,” you whisper into his tear-soaked t-shirt.

You both sit clinging to each other. Letting your tears from the last few months finally free. Letting the realization that your marriage was coming to end wash over both of you. That this was going to be the last time he ever held you like this. He would never kiss you again. You would never be his again. He would give back your heart and everything you had built together would fade away as if it was someone else’s life.

Maybe the vows you made to each weren’t supposed to last forever. Maybe fate brought you together to make Emma but the two of you were never meant to be.

Your therapy ended up being longer than normal due to Dean’s heart being ripped from his chest, so he had agreed to get some fresh air and pick Emma up from school. They would come back for you and he would bring you both back home where he would move all of his things permanently into the guest room and then at the end of the school year he would find a new permanent place. Some place where Emma could come visit him. A new place he would have to call his home. For his new life. Without you.

All of that made scars in his heart spread and deepen. He felt like his heart was going to stop. Just quit working from the pain of it all. Even when he was staying at Sam’s he never really thought you would be here. Sure, it had been mentioned, but you never actually pushed it. You didn’t ask for it like you had today. He just needs to clear his head and seeing his daughter was the best way to fix his broken heart.

Emma walked out of school without the usual pep in her step and people were starting to notice. She was normally a pretty happy teenager but lately, it was hard for her to focus in class and she hardly talked to anyone.

She gave a small wave towards her friends and made her way towards her bus when she heard a whistle. She turns around to find her dad leaning against his car, arms crossed and a small smile on his face. He was happy to see her but pretty nervous since their last conversation this morning didn’t end so well. She slowly makes her way over to him with confusion written over every part of her. Noticing the dark red of his eyes and his puffy face she was worried something happened to mom.

“What are you doing here?” she asks gently.

He pushes off the car and reaches into the passenger window pulling out an entire box of brownies, holding them out for her to take. “Your mom taught me a long time ago your apology has to be as big as your mistake. I’m a slow learner.”

Emma tried to fight the smile that was tugging at her lips, but she couldn’t after the day she had. “I’ll say…” She takes the box from him and steps forward slinging her free arm around neck pulling him into a hug. She was feeling confident her mom wasn’t hurt so whatever happened to make him this upset, well, she wasn’t going to make him deal with it alone.

The gesture stuns for a minute but once he realizes he’s not dreaming and his daughter is actually hugging him of her own free will he wraps his arms around her and kisses the top of her head. “So, I know you’re probably still mad at me and I deserve it. I messed up, but I need your help, Ems”

She pulls her head back just enough to see his face. “With what dad?”

He grins. Dad has really never sounded better. “Mom asked me to file for divorce,” her eyes widen, and he quickly steps up to calm her panic, “It’s okay. It’s okay, Ems. Just listen. You know how I promised you I would try? Do whatever it takes to win your mom’s trust back? I got an idea, but I can’t do it alone. So, will you help me show your mom she’s still my world series? Still my main event? my everything?”

A slow grin forms and she nods. “Yeah, daddy. Tell me the plan, but don’t think I’m sharing my brownies.”

“Come on. There's like twenty in that box. Just one!” She rolls her eyes and climbs into the front seat of the Impala. “Tell me your plan old man and I’ll help you fix it so it might actually work.”

Y/n was crazy if she thought he was going to just lay back and let her leave without a fight. There was no way in hell he was letting the best thing to ever happen to him walk away just like that. Now that he had Emma on his side there was no way he could mess this up. This would work. He could fix this.

He had to because without you he is nothing.


	10. Fated love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean makes one last big gesture to save his marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve reached the end lovelies! Thank you for sticking with me and loving this story so much. It means the world to me! This may be the last chapter, but there are still a few more one-shots I want to get out so the story is far from over. 
> 
> I HIGHLY suggest reading Baby makes three and Forever & always before reading this final part. If you have not some of what happens won’t make sense.
> 
> ***Unbeta’d all mistakes are my own. My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Thanks!***

After several months of awful therapy, you didn’t think the first place you would be walking without your crutches would be through teens clothing listening to your daughter talk about how she wants a marriage just like yours one day. It was a little painful since your marriage was on the verge of ruin, but you pushed through for her.

“It’s a fairytale story mom.” You groan internally as you follow her around the racks of clothing listening to her go on and on about ways to fix your marriage.

It’s not that you didn’t appreciate your daughter’s input and it was more important than anyone’s, but you were barely okay with the choices you have made over the past several months and having her try to fix your marriage was only making you feel worse.

“Baby. Emma. I hear you. I get what you’re saying,” you grab her arm and stop her from digging through the clothing racks, “but that doesn’t mean it’s just that easy to fix things.” You sigh and hang your head. “Look, dad messed up. He kept some things from me but a lot of this is on me too. I should have trusted him at the beginning. I should have listened when he said nothing happened. Maybe if I had I wouldn’t have gotten in the accident in the first place. Maybe there wouldn’t be this huge space between us right now.”

“Mom, dad doesn’t blame you, I don’t blame you and you shouldn’t blame yourself. It was a shit-“ you raise your eyebrow and she grins, a little too much like Dean, “It was a shockingly bad situation.” She grins proudly at her recovery.

“Mmm.” You grab a cute long sleeve navy dress and hold it up. “How about this one?”

She playfully yanks it from your hand. “Dad loves you and he wants to be with you. I know you love him so just let him fix it. Stop pushing him away because you’re scared things could go wrong again.” She walks towards the dressing room to try on the dress leaving you alone in the midst of the juniors’ prom dresses.

Once she was gone you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Keeping it together for Emma’s sake was exhausting. You wanted to curl up in bed and forget that you asked to end your marriage. Forget that Dean would find someone else eventually. Forget that you would never find someone else who loves you the same way Dean does. You run your hand along the rack of dresses as you wait for Emma.  

The pictures of senior prom placed throughout the dress section made you think about your own prom. Not that you had a real one. You were way too pregnant by the time prom rolled around and you couldn’t go. Not that you wanted to. You were about to pop and felt like a whale. You had cried on Dean’s shoulder in the bedroom the two of you shared in his parent’s house. It was just one more thing you wouldn’t get and Dean would miss out on because you got pregnant.  You told him you just wanted to forget it and stay home with him, but that didn’t stop Dean was getting dressed up and dancing with you in the middle of his parents living room while your song played on repeat.

“Dress must be priced good to make you grin like that.”

Your smile slowly drops as you as turn around to face Lisa for the first time since your accident. She looks so pleased with herself. As if ruining a marriage, a family, was something she should be proud of. “I was actually thinking about my husband.” You take a step towards her and shake your head, “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming up and trying to talk to me.”

Lisa smirks, “Well, I saw you with your little…Emily?” She shrugs, “I figured it was time for the mistress and wife to have a little chat.”

“You’re right about one thing,” you nod in agreement. “We do need to have a chat, but you were never his mistress.” You cross your arms over your chest. “I have to know why my husband, huh? You barely know him. What did he fix a car for you and say something sweet and you thought that was an invitation? I hate to tell you but my husband isn’t looking and he certainly doesn’t want to take crazy for ride.”

It didn’t look like she was fazed by what you were saying at all. “You’ve looked in a mirror, haven’t you? You are so not good enough him honey.” She casually looks through the racks as she continues, “I mean, I understand why he settled. You were pregnant, seventeen and he had to marry you.”

You felt a pang of guilt stir up inside you. That’s something you’ve always been scared would happen. Dean would wake up one day and regret marrying you. Regret your daughter and hate you for ruining his life. You had been young and that fact always made you worried he regretted his life as an adult. He could be in the NFL right now instead of co-owning his father’s autobody shop. She knew just what buttons to press.

She sighs, “Then you went and had that little girl and she is just a brat like you. No manners. Did you hear the things she said to me at the hospital? Dean is still young enough to start a new family. One he doesn’t regret and you shouldn’t keep him from that.

Your guilt was quickly replaced with the anger was bubbling up inside you and you stepped toward, pushing her away from the rack. You lean forward till your nearly nose to nose whispering harshly, “Don’t. Ever. Talk about my daughter again. As for my husband? Stay away from him. You’re an idiot if you think he would ever fall in love with your crazy ass.”

You turn around to get Emma from the dressing room and get her out of here before she hears this crazy’s ladies’ ideas. “I can see where your daughter gets it from,” Lisa says calmly. “She’s a bitch just like her mother.”

Something in you snapped. You turned around and punched her right in the cheek, knocking her backward onto her ass. You lean over her. “Come near me, my daughter or my husband again and I’ll break that mess you call a nose job.”

“Mom?” You turn to see your daughter standing in the entrance of the dressing room, wide-eyed and grinning.

You clear your throat and straighten up,  looking down at Lisa still sitting on the floor. “I think she finally got the message sweetheart.”

Lisa glares up at you, holding her bruised cheek. “You just made a huge mistake. I’ll have your ass arrested for assault in a heartbeat.”

Jo leans over the counter and laughs, “I don’t think so honey. From where I stood you pushed Y/n, called her names and threatened her daughter’s safety. Then lunged at Emma when she came out of the dressing room. Y/n defended herself from the crazy chick that’s been stalking her husband.  It’s too bad my mom never fixed those cameras when I opened this boutique. Looks like it’s our word against yours.  I wonder if Garth is on shift today. Want me to give him a ring and have him come down so we can set this straight?” she asks Lisa.

“No, thanks,” Lisa hisses.

You shoot a thankful smile at Jo and grab Emma’s hand. “Come on, Emma.” You drag your laughing daughter from the store leaving Jo to handle Lisa. You had a feeling was no longer welcome around here.  

“Mom. That was seriously the coolest thing you have ever done!” she squeals. “Dad is going to be so proud.”

You couldn’t help but grin at the thought. “Let’s just get going. You’ve got that thing with your friends at the rink.”

Emma was dropped off at the rink where Dean, Sam, Mary and Jess were already hard at work, but Emma was really the one in charge of decorating. Without her, none of this would have been able to be pulled off. She kept her mom busy for the day and was going to be the one to get Y/n there. Plus, she helped dean pick all the decorations so she was the only one that knew where everything was going. Four hours later and it was looking just like Dean pictured.  

“Daddy. Go get ready.”

Dean looks out the window towards the parking lot, watching the heavy rain coming down. “Ems, this is stupid. It’s raining. I didn’t bring a change of cloth-“

“Dad. go put on Uncle Sam’s raincoat. I am finishing up the lights. I’ll text her to pick me up out front and it will all go as planned I promise.” Emma breaks her intense concentration on the lights and looks at her father. “I know you think mom wants a divorce but trust me, after what happened today I know she doesn’t.  She loves you.  She’s going to love all of this. It’s perfect.”

Dean looks around the rink and grins at how different it looks from this morning.

  


 

The entire rink was covered in twinkle lights, your favorite flowers and some kind of fabric that Emma said would be perfect and who was he to argue on fabric? Seeing it all now he knew trusting Emma was the right choice. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. It was everything you wanted sixteen years ago. Everything he couldn’t give you at seventeen. He could finally give it you. Yeah, it cost him a small fortune to rent out the entire rink for the day, but the shop was doing really well and no amount was too much. He always said he was going to give you the world, he got a little off track these last few years but this was the right step to fixing it.  

Plus, this time your daughter had a much more active role.

He looks back at Emma in her soft pink tulle dress and grins. “I’ll be out front. Get everyone in place and out of the way and then call her to come pick you up. Let’s just hope this works, baby girl.” He starts to head towards the front of the rink and pauses looking back at Emma.

“Did she really punch Lisa in the face?” he asks with a small smirk.  

Emma smiles. “Yeah, it was great.”

She raises her right hand and punches her left palm.

Dean grins. “That’s my girl.”

Emma had called you thirty minutes ago saying she was out front of the rink waiting for you to pick her up. The sight of this place was starting to become too painful to stand. It felt like a hot poker to the heart every time you pulled into the parking lot. You never thought a place that used to bring you such happiness would make you sick to your stomach now. There was nothing you could though. You had over sixteen years of memories here and it was the only rink nearby. You couldn’t stop your daughter from wanting to hang out there just because it was a reminder of how much you failed.

So, if you had to drive right into heartache to pick up your daughter so be it.

You turn into the parking lot and pull to the front doors and feel an instant sinking in your stomach, pulling into the parking space right by the doors.

That was not Emma. It was… It was  _Dean_. “What the hell is going on…” You mutter to yourself, trying to ignore the flutter in your heart from the sight of your husband. You lean forward looking up at the sky through your windshield, the rain was showing no sign of slowing down. Which means you’re about to get very, very wet. You groan and open your door slowly climbing out of the car despite the pouring rain around you. You run up towards the doors where Dean is standing and shout, “Dean, what the hell are you doing?!”

“Getting my wife back!” he yells over the sound of rain pounding the pavement.

“What?” you ask, flustered by whatever this was supposed to be. You thought you were on the same page with the divorce and you honestly didn’t think you had the courage to ask him again. You shake your head and lean your head back letting the cool raindrops hit your face, letting it wash away the ache in your heart. “I thought- I thought you promised not to fight me on this De?”

“Baby, there is no way I am  _not_  going to fight for you.”  

You look back at Dean and slowly walk towards him, you could feel just how soaked your clothes were now that you were walking but you couldn’t be bothered to care at the moment. “Dean there is nothing left to fight for,” you stammer.

“That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart.” Dean steps out into the rain meeting you halfway, “You are. You have always been worth every fight, every late night and every tear shed.” He cups your cheeks forcing you to look at him. “We both messed up this year. I shouldn’t have lied to you and we both should have tried harder. We let our lives get in the way and it made a hole in our marriage, just wide enough for secrets and lies and crazy chicks to get in, but  _we_ should have been more careful. We should have seen it sooner.”

You close your eyes to block out the man in front of you, hoping it would stop your tears but it didn’t. They were rolling down your cheeks just as quickly as the rain was falling.

“I know you think that all this means we’re not meant to be or it means our marriage isn’t strong. That our marriage is a mistake because we aren’t perfect, but baby, I’d rather be imperfect with you than perfect with anyone else.”

You open your eyes and stare back at the man in front of you. What do you say to that? How do you tell him what you’re feeling, what you’re thinking when he just laid his heart before you? You couldn’t find the words even if you wanted to. Whatever you say it won’t be enough. Dean has always said you were too good for him, but sometimes you feel like it’s the other way around.

Dean nods at your silence, taking as his answer. This was a long shot anyway. You made your feelings pretty clear and he was just fumbling in the dark. “Yeah, okay,” he laments. He slowly let’s go of you and turns to walk back inside the rink. He didn’t know what else to say and he wasn’t going to force you to love him. If you no longer loved him he would let you go no matter how badly it hurt him.

You could feel your heart pounding against your chest watching him walk away from you. It felt like one of your panic attacks coming on. You couldn’t breathe. If you let him go right now this was it. There would be no going back from this. You would have to accept that your marriage was really over.

“Hey!” you yell catching his attention.

Dean slowly turns back around to find you smiling at him. He raises his brow questionably. You take a step towards him and shout over the noise of the rain, “Where do you think you’re going? You can’t just walk away with my whole world.”

A slow grin spreads on his face and he runs back over to you cupping the back of your head and pulling you into him and before you knew it his lips were on yours. Everything around you the two of was gone. You were convinced that even the rain stopped the moment your lips touched. All you could feel was his lips on yours and you knew right then, you never wanted to stop kissing him.

He slowly pulls back, placing a chaste kiss on your lips and leans his forehead against yours. “Come inside,” he links fingers with yours and tugs gently, “We missed our anniversary date this year and Emma’s got a surprise for you inside.” He walks backward pulling you inside and away from the storm. And, getting out of the rain was nice too.

Dean shakes his wet hair out once the two of you get inside. He unzips his rain jacket showing a dark blue blazer and a bow tie. You glance down his outfit and realize he is wearing his suit from your wedding. Emma walks up behind and taps on your shoulder, holding up the garment bag you recognized from your closet. The one that holds your wedding dress. You're assuming this means she wants you to wear it. Thankfully you were seven months pregnant when you got married so with any luck that dress will still fit. “Time to get ready momma.” She grins brightly, “You got a wedding to get to.”

You furrow your brows. “What?”

Emma rolls her eyes and looks back at Dean. “Dad!” she scolds. “You literally had two jobs!”

He laughs, “Sorry Ems. It was raining, and I was little distracted.” He walks over and drops to one knee in front of you. You take a step and look between the two of them, startled and completely puzzled. You can’t get married. You were already married!

Dean grins at the look on your face and grabs your hand. “Y/n Winchester. There is no one I would rather go through life with than you. You put up with all my bull crap and for some unknown reason, you see the good under it all. I meant it when I said forever sixteen years ago. I know we didn’t get our dream wedding all those years ago, but that’s the day I got my dream girl. So, what do you say, marry me one more time?”

“Dean…” You glance at Emma and back at him. You bite your bottom and grin at him, “Yeah, I’ll marry you, but only if there’s pie.”

Dean laughs and hops up, placing a feather light kiss on your cheek. “That’s my girl! Let’s get this show on the road. I’ll see you at the aisle beautiful.” He winks and heads into the rink, leaving you to get ready with Emma.  

Emma said Dean wanted to be with you when you walked in, something about seeing your face when you walked in. So, there you stood at the interior lobby doors waiting for Dean to come get you.  It didn’t take long to get ready. Emma had your hair dryer and thankfully the rain helped to add a cute little curl to your hair. You left it down with a few flowers throughout, fixed your make-up and changed your soaking wet jeans for a dress you haven’t looked at in sixteen years. You shift nervously looking down at your wedding dress. The blush on the bottom of the dress wasn’t as vibrant as you remember.  Putting it on today felt strange. Like you stepped back in time. If you closed your eyes you still see the look on Dean’s face the first time he saw you in this dress.

How could you have ever thought Dean Winchester wasn’t the man you were supposed to spend the rest of your life loving? You were lost in your own thoughts when the music starts, and you grinned. Linger by the cranberries. Your song.

Dean walks up and his eyes go wide as his mouth falls open the second he lays eyes on you. “I think I just traveled back in time.”

You laugh. “You don’t look too bad yourself. I like the bowtie.”

“Thank you,” he smirks. “My wife really likes bowties.”

He grins and holds his arm out for yours.

“You ready gorgeous?”

You slip your arm in his and grin up at him.

“Always, baby.”


End file.
